The sea of its salt could never be drained
Like me of you will forever be stained
Useless are tries to wash you away
Rushing back to dreams you stay
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Where salt water tastes fine
The plain but turn into wine
By these lips you were drunk
In celebration of our ship sunk
15-10-07
A contest entry
- b/r/o/k/e/n[love]or_ just- lies by oldphotosonlybringt.
450 points, ended November 11, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please spare me your broken heart, but make sure you rip open your chest. by VioletMasquerade.
450 points, ended November 10, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...& the pieces of u will 4ever remain inside this sea *Alex sniffs a little, as her second personality interrupts* umm... like “the heart of the ocean” in Titanic? *she lols 2 herself* :P
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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rippling waves of the sea, salt laden but giving and supporting life, love too ripples with magic and mystery, and sometimes sinks
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Sure! glad u liked it Btw, **Happy '08**
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I love this poem! Thank you so much! It's amazing how much emotion is put into so little words! Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest,
All the best,
*Stephi* *rose -
Your poem reminds me a bit of Titanic then I saw the extra comments below the poem. It was beautiful and sad at the same time as it also appears that way in your poem with the tone you set. I want to thank you for entering my "Invite Only; Me On Their List" contest.
Ted E
PS: Once I have commented on all of your entries, then I will reread them all and choose the one that will be brought forward for being selected as Gold, Silver, Bronze or HM.
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Enjoy having your hands full!!
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Excellent
very well done. Congratulations on your honorable mentions
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Thank u!
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Nope, you're right! There is something strange about the order of the words... can't quite put my finger on it either... but that's how it felt right for me when I phrased the poem, maybe because to me the choppyness of it supposedly implies a "conclusive attitude" towards the situation while at the same time reflecting the way I jot down notes/decisions to myself in my head about things... if you have any clue what I'm trying to get at~ lol... hope I haven't just confused you some more. Eitherway, TC n c ya 'round!
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You definately have managed to create some great images within your words, and I like such poetry
I had a bit the feeling though, that the lines read a bit unnatural to me, as if you switched them around for the rhyme. But it's also possible that I had this feeling, because English isn't my maternal language
Thank you for entering this contest, I wish you the very best
Leander -
I love the first set of couplets in this...a great poem..
I like the 'rushing' into dreams like water.
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Ver intresting
great job!
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Unique
I like your subject-verb reversal. A good write with a strong backbone. Well done. -
ha, wow i loved it just one thing your nAme is missing but other than that this is a great poem thanks bunches sweetie!
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oops... sorrie
fixed it! thank u for the nice comment n reminder~ gl w/ d contest babe!
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I really like this a lot and there is a lot of emotion here. The title is very catching. Great job and thanks for entering.
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Sure & thank u 4 having the perfect place for my feelings and piece to fall... much needed!
So, hope u 2 will b all better by the end of this <3 Alex
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Nice write
Says so much in a few words
Well done
Julie
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Thank you sweetz
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Aww thanx Tarja! It's just how I was feeling this morning when I woke up still dreaming about... well you can guess~
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I SO LOVED THIS! The title really pulled me in!
You have written something very creative! Wonderful job. Good luck in the contest.
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