I always wanted a brother,
Someone to look up to,
Someone to help me,
Someone like you.
You’ve helped me a lot,
Been there for me,
I never thought it would happen,
But it did indeed.
Thankyou my friend,
For the love we share,
I miss it very much,
When you’re not there.
But somehow you are there,
Even when you’re not,
‘Cause a friendship,
Can go through a lot.
We’ve had our moments,
Those little fights,
But every time,
We make things right.
Thankyou brother,
For being here,
And getting rid,
Of every tear.
Author notes
I never had a brother, only sisters, but a certain boy seems like a brother to me, this is about him...
A contest entry
- Meaningful Personal Connections - points increased! by ellipsist.
3150 points, ended October 24, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"Thankyou my friend,
For the love we share,
I miss it very much,
When you’re not there."
Really enjoyed this litle bit, and over all; well done!
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Let me just say, I have a brother and sometimes it isn't always the easiest thing in the world to get along. But love prevails and we do! By God's grace we do.
This comes across as a very heartfelt piece. Keep the ink flowing and good luck!
~Donna~ -
please do not rate or reply to my comment
great message to this piece! inspirational, indeed! thank you for sharing this piece in my contest...
on a critical note: the rhythm seems a bit choppy in places (due to inconsistent line length, perhaps?), the rhyme scheme a little bit off in others, and several sounds and words are repeated... this critique, of course, is just based on my personal preference, as you did convey your heartfelt and inspirational message quite clearly with this piece... thank you for sharing it and I hope that my critiques do not come across as overly critical...
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this is great
glad you found a boy who's there for you.
my mates sister accidentally called us her brothers at school the other day (us being me and jesus)
i guess we might as well be
neway
so happy that you hav a guy like that.
its great
and such a sweet poem in his honour
seej
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