When forever was crepuscular,
pulling shadows to tatters, leaving
memories stationed as sentinels,
your voice was tossed from a rill,
splashed along the channels
tracked in stone. Stains and salt,
indelible, mingle with texture.
History is liquid. Gels, sets
becomes a pebble to be tossed
into the present, breaking
the stillness.
My reflection ~ found in her
waters, carved into a possibility.
Rings interlocked we spun,
an infinite dance, piercing
each other with lifetimes.
Our souls donning bodies sculpted
to tell secrets, we wanted to impart.
Fishes flash in the first silver of morning,
all my aches driftwood
on the natal wave of light.
Fingers interlaced, night’s wines
aroma make us drunk. We yield
to the needs storied in our flesh,
before time, with all its attendants,
beats down our door.
4:15 PM
10/14/07
Alexandria, VA
A contest entry
- . by Aurora Ceres.
700 points, ended November 1, 2007, 75 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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Tom you make the heart of a hopeless romantic melt time and time again. Soft and gentle your words flow from line to line to embrace the reader in the beauty that lies within the ripples of sweet love sung. Simply Goregous!
Blessings
Bel
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I am honored to be told I am so enchanting. I am glad you enjoyed this visit with how we are carved. Our spirits being far wiser than our bodies make sure we remember to stay in touch through many lifetimes.
Love, Tom B.
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You make love possible for all those that don't believe with this piece. We all hope for a life-time and you just penned it perfectly. Good luck.
Oh and congrats on the gold
Hugs~ Cuddles -
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Love is a state of being. We just want to be able to share it with someone who will find us to be the partner they want to share their world with. Love makes it all better and makes the lie impossible to participate in. That you should see me as doing anything perfectly makes me smile. I know to well the foibles I live within.
Still I am touched. It really is a gift. Your compliment. Thanks.
Love, Tom B.
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WOW!!!
before time, with all its attendants,
beats down our door.
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As I get older I realize they seep through the floor boards and creak into my bones.
Love, Tom B.
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awesome piece
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Thanks for taking a moment to share your joy in my work. It multiplies in the sharing.
Love, Tom B.
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Wow that is a very lovely poem. Full of great lines and great imagery. I love... (love) the beginning stanza.
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For too long we are able to fool ourselves with our superman capes into thinking we are truly invulnerable. We are fools. We only soar when we are totally intimate with the ones we love.
~ Tom B.
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First time I have read your poetry. It has many aspects and pulls me in many directions.
"History is liquid. Gels, sets
becomes a pebble to be tossed
into the present, breaking
the stillness."
Not sure what this means. The lack of grammatical coherency for the second sentence makes it hard for me. It appears to include three parallel verbs: gels/sets/becomes which are treated unequally. I see the present as the opposite of stillness, in many ways, so the idea of history as a pebble that would break a stillness is difficult for me.
I then do not understand why or how "reflection" is "carved into possibility". Something is not being explained here.
I would suggest a longer line to bring out your lyricism. It would provide a more relaxed reading than the current shorter lines provide.
I hope that helps.
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Thank you for finding my poem worthy of critical comment. It is funny about the reflection line. For you it is not compleat. For another poet, who I respect it is her favorite line. Who knows?
The critique of History is liquid is valid in many points and I will have to think long about it. I think about compliments, too often they are only breezes and not much can be attached to them. I think about critiques, for they are someone else telling you what they see and how the mechanics don't work for them. I, often, have to take the car into a mechanic when someone else hears or sees something I don't understand.
Again, you are to be complimented and thanked for such a thoughtful review. You have given me much to ponder.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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You are one sensual writer!!! This was just beautiful.
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thanks. I am not sure why you say that but I will take it as being real. I am glad you find it beautiful and thank you, again, for sharing your joy.
Love, Tom B.
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I enjoyed it all,
except for the "history is liquid" part--not that it was unenjoyable--merely that it made me pause and try to think of what it was you meant. The more I thought about it, the more I come to the conclusion that history is like granite. The ripples of my past will never smooth themselves out--they are cast in stone. What happened, happened. To my mind that is pretty solid.
History is a pebble to be tossed
into the present, breaking
the stillness.
works for me, because the solid pebbles of the past, no matter how remote, have an impact on today. Trafalgar, Caesar and Cleopatra, Plato... things many of us have long forgotten, or in many instances never knew, have cast the die of the future.
A nice intriguing write.
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"History is told by the victorious." Our past shifts as we grow in our understanding. For it is not the events, they are of little import, but our sense of meaning gained from what has impacted us that makes all the difference. It is only our current thoughts about it that have affect upon how we create our present meaning.
Thanks for the thoughts, the bunnies and your insights. I am glad to hear you fight with the metaphor for then I know it has had some impact. Thanks for taking the time and the sharing.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Oh this is one piece I shall never forget. You are so profound!! I am loving this work of your
SUPERB!!
Mel
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Be careful or you shall brim to the top with my words layered thick in the stuffing. You honor me with your joy in my profundity.
Love, Tom B.
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In any form woudl I know my soulmate. I have had incidents where others have spoken of such... a returning of some kind and evidence of that, by poeple who were far frm hystrinoic... this is a beautiful, sensual and strobing poem, my friend.
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I am sure you would. I reach deep into The River and find that love touches every current. While we are most oft' bound to the one called time and the pull of its swift hands, it does not mean we cannot see further and if brave enough swim to another flashing toss of belief until were are free of our conversations.
Thank you for your insight and vision.
Love, Tom B.
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Magnificent Piece of Art...Bravo!
Once two becaome a whole and the mold is being set; many fail to know this happen over a period of time.
The time never ends when the rocks have become gel, and we keep morphing into the desires of each other. This is a very sexual piece you have shared. Yes in life we always keep growing in spirit.
My favorite 3 lines:
"Fingers interlaced, night’s wines
aroma make us drunk. We yield
to the needs storied in our flesh,"
This a beautiful metaphor about the intimacy, and can see them fulfilling there needs.
This is a most beautiful write Tom you are a a dynamic man of words my Poet friend.......novy
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Thanks for digging deeply into this piece, I am honored by that. Yes, this piece is intimate and sensual and I am glad to hear you celebrate that. It is spiritual and digs into how we touch and dance with each other for lifetimes. I am glad to hear my language pulled you in and help you dive deeply.
Love, Tom B.
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I must have read this at least three times , to make sure that I was able to comprehend even if just a little. These thoughts {expressed much better than my mind can] are however exactly how I try to analyse past and presnt and future. On first read this seemed quite scientific only, but upon reading again I saw it as almost primal abandon of self [I have no idea exactly what it was though that brought it to mind]. Maybe it is the second stanza?
regardless of exactly what this really is in author's mind, it leaves reader mouth agape and forming own deduction <-----something to do with that gel part. As usual [accolades well deserved]
much love
xoxoxoxo
reenie
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Never know what is going to catch people. The passage about History and how it affects the present turned out to be much more powerful than I imagined. I, just, wanted to catch how much we are formed as we form the universe we are part of and how love changes us. Delicate, strong, vibrant, intimate love makes us who we are if we choose to blossom in its light.
I am glad to see you here again, making your comments and touching my heart with your insight and joy. I know it feels like a miracle to be alive and breathing. We discover the quandry of loving those close to us and in the midst of their travail and ours in sharing in theirs the strange experience of sadness deep and true running slowly over a soil filled with joy. Remember, if you can: The single best expression of the dynamic force of love is joy. It is not about being happy. Joy is instead all of the Light that love brings to us and how it lets things become vibrantly alive. This is even true in the face of the threat of death or loss. Let it tell you ~ you are on the right path, sharing what is best in the world with those you love, and most of all, making a huge difference in each and everyone of your love ones as you share the touch of your heart.
Love, Tom B.
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Beautiful imagery. Then again, you always paint a pretty picture.
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Thank you. I just wanted to try another way to wake people up to the power of love and the effect and affect the have on one another.
Love, Tom B.
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As liquid moves and gel can take any form I can only suspect that you are using the metaphor of people changing over time and life experiences and that love too changes from its first fiery encounters to one of joy, compassion and friendship that if we are lucky never changes forever. Love, C
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We can have our history or we can have the present. Even in the present, history can come along and be used to blow it up. Love, true and real, rides the waves created and continues to just love.
Cheryl, my dear sweet friend, we shall go through changes, but once I open my heart to someone, it never closes. We are always changed wether liquid or solid, fools if we try to pretend we aren't.
Deeper is we accept how much we are in our sharing with one another. This is just another love poem.
Love, Tom B. -
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You make it sound so easy to write but I know what you write you also feel
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So true.
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Very interesting piece Bubba ~
Dang.....I wish I could grasp all of your thoughts here.....but I just can't ~
I did get some of it.....but that's ok....that's the difference between you and me...and there is nothing wrong with that ~
I applaud you for penning *different*....even with rocks ~
I mean....hell....I got to *crepuscular*....and my mind went out the window ~
I can't dive that deep!
Good luck Bro.......well.....you don't need it ~
Be well,
Brother Bear ~
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Crepuscular - 1. twilight as it dims; 2. dim thought you would want to know. The rest is up for grabs cause I always think I am obvious. I think I say it all rather simply, about how we change each other and once in love, really love, it is forever.
I am so niave.
Love, Tom B.
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I just love how you use metaphor. We are all giant storybooks waiting to be read. Especially those places in between the lines and all that fine print that tends to get over looked. Time will have it's way with us all, in the end. And our flesh turned to colors imparted within the earth... Lovely as always... Ithica
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I play with a lot of levels, cause I see them all at the same time. It is amazing how my obvious is anothers obscure. I think you have a very good sense of it.
Love, Tom B.
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First off, let me say that I love the bird border. For some reason, the sparrows were trying to get into my house today. I noticed them on the front and back windows. They even looked at me for a long moment. I love birds.
Next, I need to mention that Cherokee had a contest last year with this same graphic, and I won Silver in that Comp. I have taken the poem down now but when I find it in my Documents, I will share it with you.
Now...on to your poem my dear brother/angel/friend;
"History is liquid. Gels, sets
became a pebble to be tossed
into the present, breaking
the stillness."
What a fluid passage of verse! I see the "pebble" and know the work of the "Gels".
"Rings interlocked" Very clever!
I don't even have to tell you how much I love this work. You already know. The imagery is stunning my dear. I am not in the least surprised. "natal wave" I am sure I have never read those two words placed together anywhere. You are indeed the word-smith my dear. Never allow that quill to become parched of ink.
Oh, and the best to you in the Round Challenge.
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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You see some of my layers in the word Gel, one most won't see. This is just looking at how much we change each other and how when it is real it goes on forever.
Love, Tom B.
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I am in love with the 3rd stanza
for me, that makes this piece!
--- oooh that and the image of the natal wave of light! incredible!
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I can see how you would think that. I had fun playing with the fluid and the seemingly unchangable. The two extreme sexual images.
Love, Tom B.
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