What else is left but not to know?
Choose at the fork, either road,
Never knowing quite for sure
Why that road would so allure.
From wilted shadows and crooked vine,
You choose the road that's straight, supine,
Never knowing quite for sure,
For this ignorance there is no cure.
Think and lie awake to wonder,
Thoughts disturb like crashing thunder,
Never knowing quite for sure,
The answers now are just a blur.
Wish to take the road untaken,
And then a chance to go awakens!
Never knowing quite for sure
What awaits you: love or hurt?
Author notes
I think one always has the chance later on in life to change their course...it's just overcoming the fear of turning around or straying from the path that is the obstacle.
Inspired by Robert Frost
The Road Not Taken
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Mountain Interval. 1920.
A contest entry
- The Asshole's PIF: Good Poets Borrow, Great Poets STEAL! SERIOUS POETS ONLY by Avatar of Innocence.
1600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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The last line is very perceptive, but it does not fit into the rhyme scheme. May I suggest "What awaits: love or detour"? How about "paramour" or "manure"? All are almost half-rhymes anyway. Grand Attempt.
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Smooth
great write with a tough message & wonderful flow
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I just noticed the host's comment about the rhyming and my opinion is that rhyme doesn't have to be perfect. There is more than one type of rhyme. I think you did well with the rhyme scheme. Thank you again for sharing.
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This was very interesting and I liked the rhythm and rhyme here. It made me think of Robert Frost's, The Road Not Taken. We are given second chances sometimes in life and hopefully we learn from mistakes made previously. Thank you for sharing this one and best of luck in the contest. Excellent work. Keep writing poet.
seamaiden ♥
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Yes, this poem was inspired by Robert Frost's poem, which is one of my most favorites. Thanks for the comment!
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This was an interesting approach to the contest. I'm not sure if it really applies but I thought it was a nicely written piece and I thank you for entering it. Something that I didn't really like was the rhyming... there were a few lines that didn't really rhyme... only slightly sounded similar. Also you repeated a rhyme and that to me shows a lack of originality. Thank you for entering though.
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Thanks for your constructive criticism! It's so hard to find people who don't mind reading a work and telling you what they really think about it.
I noticed that some of the words only sounded similar as well, but believe it or not, it was intentional. Life is full of compromise, where you have to substitute a less-than-perfect situation for another.
The rhyme that was repeated was intentional as well. I was emphasizing that, in life, you really are never completely certain. Also, as there are patterns in life, there are patterns within this poem.
Again, thank you for your constructive criticism! I'll keep your comment in mind for future reference. -
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You have no idea how much harder it is to find a person (especially on here) to take that honesty and work with it. Far too many complain when you don't like something of theirs. So yeah, thank you for being on of the few mature ones. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.
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I agree! and yes fear is an obstacle..and a big one too..this is very thought provoking and wow! written soooo awesomely!
I love it!
~Pastel
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i wholeheartedly agree with this
But, what if someones course is already mapped out so, that they cant get off the path they chose?
Otherwise, this was a great poem and a great perspective!
♥ Dani -
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I'm a firm believer that a person makes their own destiny. You take what you're given, and you work with it. As you go along your path, it changes, you change, the surroundings and weather changes. In order to keep walking, you have to be determined to keep going and keep yourself and your plans flexible. If you stumble and fall, you must brush yourself off and keep going.
Having a "mapped out" course is just having a guidline, to me.
Thanks for your comment, it really made me think!
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