so dark inside of my outside,
so deep within along the vicious blood drifting,
theres no feeling of you nor a memory,
all it seems is a past story.
your promises are sure so hollow, so broken,
now that i live no mornings, nor nights, i am awakened
i hate you but i do not,
i know i tell myself i love you not.
I love you but i do not.
Over the nights, every moment i sought
the unreached solution is my story
my lies are neithr white nor sins
i'm bruised brutually, yes i'm blue
none of my words i penned are un-true
beyond the words are my chapters sobbed in crystal tears,
around myself i vision shoulders forwarded,
if you hear my urge, your reason wouldn't carry on
the wounds feel burried alive,
life could still go on and i shall feel no pain soon,
along the hurtful path i have walked, i'm sewn
my collapsed eyes yet carry your past memories,
Tonight my eyes may weep,
but neither will i bleed, nor sleep
i shall stay quiet and drain underneath the bedsheet,
assuaged wounds astray to ache more,
as if the candle light walked away slunging behind my door,
scattered pathced apparels that we once wore,
and our gloomy wooden cupboard, our old store
Neither have i forgotten, nor i have let gone
the illusions may appear dusky, so blurred
while piles of re written letters settle next to me
hours of sob wettens their corners, spreads the ink,
day dreams carry past memories whereva i wander and misery they bring,
the solution is eventually simple and straight,
let this be last chapter holding pain in vain,
as i ponder over last mesmerizing september,
it ends opening me the end
- the last chapter (of my life)
4.22am
Oct 15th 2007
Need honest comments
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Honestly it brought tears to my eyes.Please believe me when i say you're not alone sweetheart...keep up the great work.
I love you...
RuM -
this is amazing! i loved it
"your promises are sure so hollow, so broken,
now that i live no mornings, nor nights, i am awakened
i hate you but i do not,
i know i tell myself i love you not." this is my fav part!
xoxo- christina
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Thanks for admiring it
xxxx -
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ur welcome
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Sad indeed, but you wrote it so beautifully... I can relate to such.
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Your imagery gives, and gives.
You, my dear, are a very talented poet.
'I will not weep,
I will not cry,
I will not sleep
Though I might just die.'
I remember saying something to those lines awhile ago, when asked why I didn't allow my anger or despair show on the outside in public. We are opposites tehre. You present the pain forth right, where I have normally hidden.
If you ever need a listening ear, I'm here.
-Danneh<3
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To hate as deeply as you love, this is the one of the deepest dichotomies of human existance. You are you truelly intelligent to grasp such a notion. This is great work. keep writing.
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thanks for the comment on this one "Heartache"
i appreciate ur comment
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Oh Mansoor. This is just so sad. I feel your pain. People say that time is a good healer and yes I guess it helps to numb the pain, but sometimes time just reflects how long you have been feeling pain... sigh
I loved once and only once. That was not to be and I never married or had children. You cant make your heart change. You are young with a whole life in front of you. I hope you make the most of it honey, because there are no second chances. Go in love and light. xx
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I m commenting back pretty late lol i have been away, came back to this place after ages and im really glad to see a wonderful comment. you're right, theres no second chances, we can make decisions once and for all which is best for us. I m pleased u loved it..[the poem Heartache]
love xx
Mansoor
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WOW
I am blown away!!! You did a great job!! AS always!! It gave me chills!! Keep up the great work!! Sad but great!
Jess
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Thanks sweetheart* yeah its sad i know... hmm God bless!
hav a great life.
love xx
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Great poem and well writen keep up the good work. I have some new poems if you'd like to read them.
Amber
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Really a sad poem, telling of one's life and the love lost; how one misses this person and knows what has to be done. Tragic ending to
one's life.
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thank you very much m'am for the comment. It surely is sad and it has to be, it spoke how my life is like. It is plain, not complicated and has been written in truthful emotions. thanks once again.
God bless
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I think it's a very good pice. I would suggest running it throw spell-check though. But the form is good for the solomness of the piece. It's very heart felt, and I can associate with the feelings it conveys. I've been there. (still am actually)
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Yeah i know i shud have spelled check but i wasnt in a such state to run that. It was all from heart, i just penned it here. I realised spelling mistakes, and capital lettrs which i shud have rectified but it was all in a blink that i got it done and didnt look back. it hurts u know. While if you look at my other poems u'd find no spelling errors aand stuff. thanks for the appreciation
God bless
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Very deeply intense.
I can feel your anguish behind your words. You are so young to have gone through so much pain. I fervently hope that things are much better for you now. This piece caries within it a plea for understanding and acceptence for who you are. As well as the optimistic hope for a better life. This is a very good way in which to express these thoughts, writing can bring you peace and tranqulity. I don't know if you use the spell check but if not you might try using it you have a couple of misspelled words. I find that I rely on it for typos and misspelling of my own. It for the most part is invaluable. Good piece overall.
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That's true. I'm glad indeed for one thing like you said.. this piece carries the secret of who i am. That was the only thing i thought one would feel about it. And glad to see you did. Yea i maybe too young for what i wrote and meant, but i wrote the truth. It gets really hard to deal wid it, and i get hurt very easily for what has happened. So this place i rely and poetry helps me taking my burden off - some of it. Yes very true, this brings me peace and tranquility.. it kills the pain, it really does. I was absorbed deeply when i wrote this, and each word came thru itself, my soul made me write. it wasn't me, trust me. Thanks for the appreciation m'am
God bless you.
love,
Mansoor
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