In that elusive time,
when possibilities
exist as a fleeting substance,
believed then quickly denied,
the lightest thought forms
a star-like place
where two will linger
until a ripening desire
compels them
to the edge of their decision.
They are almost ready,
but no - not yet -
there is still time, before dawn,
for declaration
and a second’s worth
of day and night
to secure their lifeline to courage
and hope the other will want
- will also need -
their journey to begin.
In the time it takes to catch a glance,
in one unalterable moment,
they step out into that beckoning,
uncertain space and fall
- long past waking-
toward a more exquisite place.
df
Please tell me what you think
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1 - 6 of 6
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In the time it takes to catch a glance,
in one unalterable moment,
they step out into that beckoning,
uncertain space and fall
- long past waking-
toward a more exquisite place.
Ah. The time always comes when we have to decide
what we’re gonna do. Really neat way to say it.
Good work.
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This piece really fails to inspire me. I think that you could take out the line breaks and it would read as prose - albeit, a sort of convoluted prose.
I follow the narrative thread, but it doesn't really engage me (nor would it engage most readers, I think). Often, we are so intent on word choice that we forget to say something - this piece just leaves too many blanks - the first stanza says too little in too many words, I think. The piece is weighed down by writing, not lifted. -
well you do have a lot of commas ... clear no
are they running toward an affair or what? they are making up they're minds one not sure of the other? apparently you have a lot in your mind that did not make it on to the poem.what kind of lovers ? secret ?
making a decision to leave others to be together seems to be a hint of that?
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Right on!
Thank you for your comment Rheea. I see there was enough info and commas to give you the impression intended.
This poem IS about 2 people, a decision, a bold step together and because you saw this, I feel there is enough info given.
Love your questions. They are exactly the musings I hoped readers would make.
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Oh, I really like this because it is so compelling. How often we enter another's life and in the morning must decide to go deeper or decline. Yea! It is all comport. Tender slips of words to reveal hidden meanings of "I had a wonderful time. Thank you." Or, "May I have your phone number or your birth information to chart our future?" Your poem is so well written and clear that I like it for me not needing to struggle understanding your meaning about such an important recurring theme in life.
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