You hear the phone ring
But never pick up
You say that my beauty haunts you
In the night when I came to you
The sky was grey with silver tones,
Engulfed by the twilight
Me; in my short skirt
Waiting on your steps
Whiskey tainted temptations took over
I think of the short time we spent together…
How you called me that night
At 3AM
Just to tell me you couldn’t take it
“I am leaving soon…”
“When?”
“November…”
“When in November?”
“I don’t know”
Sweetly, we remain
Two faces in a crowd
Only stopping a few seconds
To remember
The way we looked in that moment.
Author notes
When i look at the picture i see two friends...the guy has been in love with the girl for some time now. He tells her he is leaving to be with her intimately and she does because she is drunk...she feels the same but would never have the courage to do so if she were sober. After that night things weren't the same...
A contest entry
- Fractured Gullibility by Menace.
550 points, ended October 21, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was a nice take on the picture prompt, and I love how you spell out the story behind it all in your notes!! Well done!
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Give me more!
The piece is great, but you tie in with the pic more in your author notes. Bring it all in. Nothing is matter of fact. It is all integral to the piece. Good luck and Thanx for entering! -
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i see what you're saying...
but i dont have more to give...was inspired but hit a block and what i wrote was how i felt...maybe it wasnt even a block, that could have been all i felt about it. i don't like to be cliche. thanks for your feedback
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Wow, I really loved this. The ending was absolutely perfect, although the meaning of the poem is really sad... Very great imagery in the beginning, and I liked how it's not some long drawn out story. Wonderful piece, you're definitely talented - hope you're enjoying AP
Jeanette*~
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Thank you so much!!!!!!!
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You're welcome. And, by the way, I checked out that poem. It did remind me of mine in some sort of way
It's a wdonerful poem, though.
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