Beautiful girl
No one sees the tears
No one knows her pain
No one feels her fears
The ocean is her soul
Waves crashing-
The ocean trys to cajole
The rain is her tears
Droplets pounding-
The rain drenches her fears
The lightning is her pain
Streaks blazing-
The lightning slowly enchains
The ground is her end
Earth claiming-
The ground is her final 'mend
Beautiful girl
No one sees the tears
No one knows her pain
No one feels her fears
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like it
especially the use of all the imagery from nature and the repetition of the first three lines at the end.
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I thought you could have been more creative, instead of using such simple, sometimes cliche words. The flow was smooth, though, and I also liked your similes. Thank you for entering, and good luck.
Jeanette*~ -
Twas a really good poem I enjoyed this read. I can see the images in my head. The flow of this poem is really well. Keep up the writing like this, I can't wait to read more of these from you
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