all
lonesome--
(never rings)
Like talking with....
"a wall," we don't sync
(sink) this melancholy
is (was) the best of me-- see?
How your eyes glint when you smile,
That's what I see when I dream, alone.
Author notes
The title is compliments of James Figurine
A contest entry
- Blank Cheque by sca.
777 points, ended November 1, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FORM CONTEST by Swan song.
450 points, ended December 20, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Interesting good!
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I have to admit this wasn't quite my cup of tea. It's like some more sophisticated, adult version of dirty pretty - which I never really warmed to.
That said, I can see what you were trying to do, and there's nothing inherently wrong with it beyond not suiting my tastes,
=> Jess -
Ummm I really don't like thw way it flows and the content seems a bit vague. sorry.
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you should listen to james figurine. very inspiring. album is called "mistake mistake mistake mistake"
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oh god..this is now my favorite poem...ever....it reminds me so much of cummings...and the wording...oh wow the wording...
""a wall," we don't sync
(sink) this melancholy"
I love it when people play with synonyms...or...antonyms...whichever it is...haha
wow wow wow...whoa...I love this...yes..congrats to you
for being.
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