Como es que yo veo myself in you?
(how is it that I see myself in you?
powerfully potent stuff with residue
but what goes in doesn't come back the same
you add your spin altering my pain.
Whence cometh all of these bountiful delights
I'm so entertained via your elevated insights
Some quality time with you is all that is required
to leave one breathless, uplifted and inspired
Anticipation now rocks the essence of my world
Making my appetite do jumping jacks and swirls
my light bulb's lit with the delicacy of your touch
Igniting my soul with desire's smoothing rush.
A contest entry
- Let your spirituality free!!! by ScarletO.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Now this is a poem with deeper meaning than when just reading these words. I found myself taken to Ps 23 and it let me experience a great worth. The question posed in the 1st stanza drew my attention, and its answer is found in the final stanza of your poem [this is how I experienced your poem]. I would like to let you 'see' what I experienced by reading this poem:
1st stanza:
On its own, this stanza can take the reader into various thoughts and experiences, but the one I like, flows from the question and the realisation that we are an image of God, and that God has so much to offer us [residue], and more so, that His offering can change us from within. Also, He takes away the pain, fear, etc.
2nd stanza:
The realisation that if we walk the path of the Lord, there are so many 'bountiful delights', relevations from Godly insights, etc.
3rd stanza:
A brilliant highlight explaining both meaning and significance of walking a life with the Lord.
Perhaps my stupidity, but I would change the last line slightly [only my personal opinion and because in my country it would be seen as something that would not be fitting for such a beatifully worded anad uplifting poem]:
"Igniting my soul with desire's smoothing rush". God bless, and it was lovely reading this poem early before break of day. FransB -
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Why, this is an awesome review, really, made my day and night too hahaha thanks so much for your attention to details and all, I did follow your suggestion and I thank you again for it
lol
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how is it that i see-como es que yo veo...good imagery and wording expecially in the last two stanzas...a great poem-un gran poema.


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Thanks Amigo, I'll get there eventually hahaha just started
lol
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I sense your emotions of your belief. I like these lines... "Some quality time with you is all that is required
to leave one breathless, uplifted and inspired"
Seems our spirits are lifted by our strong beliefs in a higher power that inspires us to do things we normally could not do. Thank you for this entry.


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Yes, smile, I think so, thanks for your elegant review
lol
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this was great.

Amber -
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Thanks Amber, hahaha I try
lol
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