I
a star that falls
from the height
of its hour
has time to think
in its seconds
of fall
II
our century of star-swoon,
slow drops in the pulse
of a long dark river,
was just gone –
one morning like a bird
in the white scarves
of a fog
III
the sky opened, the horizon closed
only this pecking
in my breast refutes the absence
of burial cloths
Author notes
66 words
In a list
- Truly Amazing Poetry by My AP Favorites • next in list
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- My Favorite AP Poets • next in list
A contest entry
- ~ Erased ~ by Heart Sutra.
1750 points, ended October 28, 2007, 26 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ pre-writes ~ by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended May 8, 2008, 61 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
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stunning
this goes into the finalist list and I wish you luck from there... it's starting to get crowded 
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I've held contests on my past accounts looking for snapshot poetry. This is it. Beautiful and not many knew what I was talking about.
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nice feeling in this one. congratulations on your trophy.
Lea -
You know, Nicolette, I have never held a contest, but I think, second guess me, a contest you could hold would be "Snapshot Contest" = as many words or lines as you think necessary to photograph one picture for me of something that I or you can frame. ? I suppose that is what all we poets do anyways. eh! I love your holding within yourself the lost time of a star / of a love. nicely done in the white scarves of a fog (like Sandburg = The fog comes in on cat's feet......"
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Lovely comment, Micheal - thank you so much. Yes, some things do "come in on cat's feet" - just love that quote
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This is a stunning poem. Absolutely beautiful.
I love the star metaphors....sky opening and a horizon that is closing...excellent!
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Thank you, Zayra - and for providing the inspiration
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I am always a fan of how you use figurative language. The flow is perfect and proves that you've master writing poems.
A very excellent write from the gemstone of poetry world.
Keep writing and best of luck.
VIRGOAN
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burial cloths...
Very deep sweet poetess... you caused a ripple or two to form in this grey primordial sludge that serves me for a brain! Excellent! Good luck in the contest!
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Thank you so much - and for the smiles
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You do it for me every time Master Poet. You cause time to take a deep breath. The exhale is worthy of the lapse. Your poetry stirs the reader to live by the emotions you share. The fragrance of each line makes us breathe deeper into a sense of knowing what is written or creating our very own avenue of understanding. These lines smooth themselves into a night-eclipse that stops us in our tracks, and makes us gaze in wonder. You always paint with such vivid strokes. Exquisite work here poet. I wish you the best in the challenge.
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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"the sky opened, the horizon closed
only this pecking
in my breast refutes the absence
of burial cloths"
Sighhh...I have worn these "white scarves of a fog", as well you know, my dear Friend. God, you paint sorrow with such an elegant brush. You paint everything with immaculate beauty. Good luck in Zayra's contest...everybody else. 
Love you, Woman. 
Vlindertjie
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The beginning is a very effective metaphor, something that leaves a reader wanting more. Then the painting of the bird, such a creative and beautiful way to express loss. But just like most of your fans here, the ending is my favorite. The slow, gentle ache just stings incredibly. Nic, you've added another jewel to your treasures. Hugs, R
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So sad, so totally heartfelt. So many metaphores. You are an artist, and this painting is beautiful. I can but sigh.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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I love the way this piece ends... beautiful, almost gentle imagery but with such a sharp pang of emotion...
incredible!
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I love those first few lines ...... they paint the image of ruin in a way ..I can see.. though of course, stars don't think, or feel. I suspect it's the distance in that height though that makes it seem as if they do because we can relate so well to the end of that journey. To be and unbecome in what seems like forever ..and seconds.
I suspect that's why ..when it comes to love I would rather dig deep in the earth ... it's not glorious ...but it grows sturdy roots..
Beautiful as ever.
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Thank you so much ... I love the 'root' way of looking ... love should be 'grounded' and have depth ...
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only this pecking
in my breast refutes the absence
of burial cloths
There is beauty in every fallen star you've written.
~Lyrical
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Well, you are certainly not erasing stars, you painted them there where none ever have been before.
~Sonja~
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Your poem spoke to me of my recent past {losing my wife} and strangely to my present situation. The truths you touch are unavoidably poignant and emotionally telling. I needed this sincerety of feelings and understanding of Life and Love this morning...
"the sky opened, the horizon closed
only this pecking
in my breast refutes the absence
of burial cloths"
I Thank You, Poet. ~ Nicky♥
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Someone should invent poetry as a currency...
I'm pretty sure you would be the richest person in the world!
what a beauty you have penned again
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Nirvana
wonderful contemplation here.Richness of metaphor and a great sense of reflection right through this piece.The spirit in the closing lines is extremely uplifting in its tone.
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The last stanza has such poignency,such impact and sears across the page with intensity.Indeed,whilst we still feel the pain there is no closure of coffin lid and it has occured to me and I have attempted to write it that of all the ceremonies we have there is not one for lost love when surely there should be and could be,oops am rambling,66 words tightly knitted to produce a wonderful creation.Excellent.
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amazing.
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Oh my- this is beautiful, Nicolette. Every, each and every part of this was awesome. Just, abeautiful composition this is~
~Namita
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Stunning . . . your perfect lines never cease to amaze me . . . "like a bird in the white scarves of a fog" . . . what poetic nirvana!!!
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It is not good to swallow you dream...but I never thought it might peck its way out from within...different this is...
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"the sky opened, the horizon closed
only this pecking
in my breast refutes the absence
of burial cloths"
Sighhh...Beautiful, sad & oh, so true, my Friend. Good luck in Zayra's contest, Sweetie. Vlindertjie
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Wow. This is quite some poem that you have going on in here. I really like the set of three that you have. They are all so short but they say so much. It says to me of someone losing what it most important to them and they try to carry on anyways but the feel of loss is profound. I don't know though. Maybe I'm way off but that's what it seems like to me. You did a great job of expressing yourself.
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well spoken
a thinking poem . .
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Interesting to say teh least.
I like your form, its very beautiful. And simple and ref reshing.
I really lov e it, its so, yeah. ..you know?
~VoT
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amazing.
I can't compete with the other comments below and I won't try to. I'll just say that was absolutely beautiful and magical and you are insanely gifted.
this has become one of my favorite poems thus far and I hope one day I can become as magnificent as you. You are truly inspirational and must have experienced a lot.
Keep up the perfection.
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Worthy
"star that falls from the height of its hour has time to think in its seconds of fall..."
I believe that that line is one of the best you've constructed, Nicolette! Superb!
Peace, Love & Light,
Jay
P.S. After a long, noticeable hiatus of poetry, this poem is the ONLY ONE of all my friend's that has inspired me to pen some verses again! Thank you so much.
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This is stunningly beautiful...beautiful in its sombreness, its imagery, its metaphor. Your words speak, and that's what I love about your poetry, Nicolette.
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so nice
al
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Oh my, what wordplay we have!
To be that star is what we wish...always. -
SUPERBLY written!! Such an amazing write, dear one. From the first words to the very last, this tugs hard at the heartstrings. Love the way you "paragraphed" your stanzas. It separates the evolution, yet the thought process remains intact. So skillfully done.
"a star that falls from the height of its hour has time to think in its seconds of fall ....." You have expertly caught a moment in time within these words, and conveyed such a beautiful image to the reader, as well. Yet, there is such an imminent "end" to this first stanza. Though we have those few seconds of contemplation, the result remains inevitable. Loss.
"...our century of star-swoon, slow drops in the pulse of a long dark river, was just gone –
one morning like a bird in the white scarves of fog..."
Again, the imagery is astounding. I felt as though I were at a funeral, watching them lower a loved one into the waiting arms of the earth. It depicts a dying love as though it were a person. Brilliant! And, the "scarves of fog....." Outstanding metaphor. This added so much to the depth of despair one must feel when they've lost something once so special.
"the sky opened, the horizon closed
only this pecking in my breast refutes the absence of burial cloths...." This closing stanza is the proverbial "knife" that slices into our hearts. One can "see" the ominous Grey of the clouds (from ground to eternity), and the rain falling all around us....as if to attempt to wash away the pain. Then, the reference to the bird again..."only this pecking in my chest..." Yes, that constant pang of aching left in the void that once was a love-filled heart. A heart that renounces, or contradicts the scene set before it in deliberate rebuttal.
Can you tell you got to me with this one, Girl?? LOL! Each time I think you couldn't possibly outdo the last work of word art you presenedt us with, you pen yet another that blows me away. Oh....to spend but an hour inside your mind.... This is masterfully written with exceptional metaphors and expert use of ALL poetic devices. A Masterpiece, indeed! If I could applaud 20 times, I surely would! KUDOS, Sweet Lady! I adore this, and you.
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WOW, Mary... one of the reasons I adore you, my friend (and there are many many) is the way you read with your heart and that very sharp poetic eye of yours... You've put your finger on everything I wanted to say in this poem. Thank you so much...
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our century of star-swoon,
slow drops in the pulse
of a long dark river,
was just gone –
one morning like a bird
in the white scarves
of fog
These were my favorite stanzas. It reminded me of a wake. Especially with the fog; I thought of being on top of a hill looking off into the distance while someone dear to me was being laid to rest.
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that was truly beautiful
that final stanza, powerful!
much respect for this structure and style, great
discipline mixed with air and wonderful imagery
that just flows.
Great Job dear poet!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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XD clappiesss
i really liked the imagery and the wording
kind of cryptic leaving the reader thinking about the ending but i suppose that adds to the suspense
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stunning poetry
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damn this is good sweetie. Loved the line;
"only this pecking
in my breast refutes the absence"
wow.
You amaze me continually.
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...I don't even know what to say about this. The imagery is fantastic, and the scenario in the poem is slightly vague (I need to read this over, anyway... it's that lovely), but I love thinking about it. Don't say what this is about. It gets me thinking, and I love that about your poem.
"the sky opened, the horizon closed" -- I love that image and how it ties into the celestial references in the first stanza.
I never give clappy guys, but here you go! You deserve them.
--Cristina
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Cristina... thank you so much - I'm honoured
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time tells a story here, seconds, hours to a star, as a century of feeling within, and the lingering nature of heart, how feelings linger; oh so very true, one feels an echo, or the inner voice saying yes, i have felt that too...wonderful poetry... PK
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"a century of feeling within"... that says it all. Thank you, PK.
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Great imagery, love the form, love the second stanza, good luck in the contest.
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