I understand
the blood
of yours,
it is an autumn
of my blush,
and red maples
that paint
colors
into my palm,
red
and rosy
like the mouth
of a tulip. now
is a thought
of morning
with the white
sounds
of mynahs:
you put a flower
in my waist.
smile.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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oh my! I was a little shocked to see some of the responses below. But I will say this... I think this is one beautiful piece. I adore the complex nature. All poetry is not meant to be understood, but in my eyes.. this makes it more captivating. To think... what was the poet thinking when writing this... is that a real flower? or a metaphor? Spectactular. The season 1 winner Justin would enjoy this piece. as abstract is his game. I do feel that this is one of my favorite pieces I have read in a while.
Now... The end...
"you put a flower in my waist"
That line simply yelped. I loved it. It could say soooo much. I felt like this could be interperted on many different levels by many different people.
To me... it brought back memories of pregnancy. The flower in the waist bit...
heheheh.
I adore abstract. To me.. it takes more talent to think of these strange and mysterious things to say.
BRAVVOOOOO!!!! WHOOHHOOOO.
It is very rare I can find a poet that I can sink into their work. I think you may be the key
Your score from me is: 100.
Always,
Mel
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Oh yes~ my applaud came!!
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sighs,
ohh my ~ this is so beautiful, as always, sensual has been given a new meaning in my dictionary. This is soft, imaginative and 'the chase' took the words right out of my mouth, someone who doesn't understand the feelinds, hidden love and the story of forsakened glory in this -- needs to open his mind to different interpretations ~
Your words are like runes, and we have to dwell upon them -- its the quality of a great poetical piece, it can make you string up words and make personal meanings for yourself.
If this had been clearly stated, I would not have liked it, but its ambiguity and its beauty is in its elegant style! I applaud you my idol!
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I tried to applaud too!!
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okay, but what are mynahs?
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"I understand
the blood
of yours,"
That is your aha line, i liked it at the beginning, very catchy..
then to the end of the poem, where it changes to white, and someone hands you a flower and just smiles, I don't think they realize just how much they mean to you
I like this very, very much (only my interpretation, of course)
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I tried to applause but it didn't seem to work, I'm confused.. :/
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I think this piece is delicate and poetically beautiful. I think there is in fact a meaning to be found, either one you could explain to us, or one as fellow poets we could create for ourselves by delving into the piece and letting our imaginations flow. I think that anyone who says there is nothing to read here has an incredibly dreadful lack of imagination, and I think you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about with this poem. I'm actually so infuriated right now with some of my fellow "poets" that I cannot even fully express what I'm trying to say. Agh. Aside from everything I've said so far, I would like to offer my feelings on the poem.. at first I was getting a sense of womanhood and birth.. "you put a flower in my waist." Upon reading again I also got a sense of death, ironically from the same line... I would be honored to hear your own thoughts on what this piece means to you, Poet, if you wouldn't mind sharing.
-Chase -
What happened to the applause...???
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Well, I liked this... the soft sounds, the vibrant colours.. the things the blood of a lover understands. Lovely... lolol at the "nothing to read" - just shaking my head!!
~ Nicolette
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Karmel, Karmel, Karmel.......
What I see here......is an entry which I could have written in 3 minutes ~
I am hurt that you did not take the time to give your all in this Round.....I felt a slap in the face....and I am embarrassed for your entry ~
I see nothing here to make this stand-out....no power....no Impact on my senses......nothing but a bunch of Imagery which told me nothing.......I hope you understand the seriousness of this Round......it means you either will.....or will not move on.....Very disappointed Hun,
There is nothing to critique here, as there was nothing to read ~
This is not a attack on you.....you know that.....it's an opinion about this lacking entry in alllll categories ~
Bear ~
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I agree with Ktulu that this was a difficult piece to fully understand. I know writing without any capped letters seems to be part of your style, and for this piece I have no problem with it, as the punctuation helped guide me. The tone here is soft and gentle, but as a whole it's a bit more abstract than I'd like to see. A very unique piece though, that really showcases your style of poetry.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J. -
I have to be honest and say that after reading this 3 times I still did not understand it.
There was no jaw dropping WOW factor to this at all.
Although I really liked the last line but still am not sure just what it is you are trying to convey or what point you are attempting to make.
Does this hurt your score?
A little..
But, I still can see your poetic ability, so do not lose hope....just remember this as you press forward in this challenge.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
lovely
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