As taken as I am
Grabbing at air to embrace her.
A fleshless wondering of souls.
Eyes caressing the winds,
changing all that I know.
I listen as she calls to her cats,
as glamorous an animal, they are.
If I could, I would render the heavens
and give to her the first falling star.
As my faith in her grows amorously,
an affinity for the first kiss.
And clarity sets through all of me,
awaiting that furious bliss.
This path I await intriguingly,
for somehow, I will get by.
As the days pass on and flee,
I patiently wait for her sigh.
Imperfections' beautiful smile,
may indeed, be imperfect, I know.
All wonderful souls take awhile,
now on fire, see that wondrous glow.
Author notes
Need I say more..............
A contest entry
- Show me what it feels like to want someone! PREWRITES ALLOWED!!! by Yo-Amoro-Tu.
310 points, ended November 26, 2007, 37 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your best. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended July 9, 169 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
-
Thanks so much for entering
&&
Good luck.
[if you are placed in the finalists I will leave a better comment]
-
this is absolutely beautiful and very deserving of the gold trophy you have earned with the words woven. it is always a pleasure to read the words you pen. keep up the fantastic work. viyanna rosemarie
-
Excellent Writing
I like that she has cats. Very much enjoyed reading this.
-----
-
Words of beauty
Waiting to escape from those afraid lips. But do tell her so. Your words wil touch her heart
-
romance found within a breath at a time wherein memories
come to fruit.
yes you brought a smile with this.
it brought a few memories to mind of my own.
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
-
Nice love poem. It washes over me and I feel a sensitive love.
I really enjoyed this verse:
All wonderful souls take awhile
It could be a quote on your page.
S
-
Your words are so soft...comforting...
I immediately felt a calm as I read
this poem...thank you for that, especially
after the day I've had
I know I am
going to love reading more of you...
Lane
-
-
Thank you for your honesty and soft regard, it makes me feel good knowing you liked it.
-
-
you have a great talent
continue to express yourself. you do a great job at what you do
way to go -
Beautiful
I have met so amny people on this sight that are true friends and I would be lost without them in my life
-
Embracingly precious
I wish you many blessings in your quest for your internet love, she realy inspires some beautiful poetry.
-
oh how beautiful this is something special and lovely emotions flow through-out this poem great flow just love it....
-
very creative!
i loved the concept of this poem - lots of emotion, lots of anticipation... the ideas flowed well, but i had a bit of difficulty getting into the rhythm of it. the meter was a bit inconsistant, which made reading a little awkward. if you'd like, come visit the rhyme & meter group i'm a member of - you'll find it's the only group i have listed on my profile page. it's really helped me to fine-tune my work! anyway, nice job!
-
Wonderful!
This is such a beautiful and romantic write. I love the title and this line..."Grabbing at air to embrace her"....that is what it is like when in a long distance relationship. A very loving and passionate write. Good luck to you both!!! ~*Pam*~
-
Beautiful imagery and rhyme, I loved it, especially the lines 'As my faith in her grows amorously,
an affinity for the first kiss.
And clarity sets through all of me,
awaiting a furious bliss.'
Wonderful write, thank you and best of luck =] -
This is absolutly beautifull, the best love poem I think I have ever read. my favorite part would have to be "If I could, I would render the heavens, and give to her, the first falling star.".. you truley have a gift for words.
-
Touching poem. The verses seem to intwine themselves and tie the whole work together very effectively. It sounds like an epic tale. It is clear that this poem was meant truly and wholly. A true gem in the field of love poetry.
-
oh such love in this poem my favorite stanza is the last one I don't know why but it just stuck out!
-
enjoyed this very much. I believe it is the patience that runs throughout the write and the last stanza is a perfect closing, especially the third line. I wish you the best. May your patience pay off,
reenie
-
Oh wow
What a write! so heartfelt and beautiful. such beautiful words to express such a wonderful feeling. Very good!
-
Very nice, very nice. Enjoyable read, your soul seems to be poured into this piece.
Very good, very good
-
I am so astounded by the passion you portray in this piece. But I say you shouldn't have(LOL). Such grace and compassion. Wish I was such a lucky girl. Whoever this is for or about deserves the best from someone such as sweet as you.
Beka
-
I really like this nicely written
-
Well this had me from the title- nice write!!!
Nice is the wrong word-it is passionate and beautiful and thoughtful. Gloriously epic
-
The third stanza is an absolute gem, awesome:
~ As my faith in her grows amorously
An affinity for the first kiss
And clarity sets through all of me
Awaiting a furious bliss~
Succinct and solid. It shows a deep affectation, not usually so well put into words as you have done. BRAVO !!!!!
-
Nope, you need not say another word I believe I know right where this came from and it's such a lovely touching write from the heart. I don't think I need to say another word here for we both know where your heart lays
My hope is that your peace will always be found in this place 
Be well and be blessed dear friend 
-
-
Dank you, Mooma!!!!!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 27 of 27
