All of myself, I poured into you
my last hold on innocense
My gift to give
you stole it without conscience
you took what was special
My joy a mistake, your promise a lie
lust overtook you and I paid the price
an angel who fell from grace
and landed in your bed
A contest entry
- Fractured Gullibility by Menace.
550 points, ended October 21, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
There we go...
I'm glad you took a little different perspective on this and focused on the betrayal. You just need to correct your spelling on innocence and decide whether to capitalize each line or not. You said a lot in a few words. Good Luck and Thanx for entering.
-
I love the simplicity and beauty of this piece. I am just thinking though, since this was a two person act, in the line "lust overtook you", shouldn't that read 'us' as opposed to you?
Best of luck to you in the contest dear poet and keep that quill handy. 
♥ Touchof1der -
"an angel who fell from grace,and landd in your bed." that line paints tons of imagery in my mind.
Adding your comment:
