the grandchildren play
grandma and grandpa watching
taken back to simple times
come and play they ask
my mind wishes to join in
but my muscles say no way
In a list
A contest entry
- Delightful Shortforms by delightfulmess.
1200 points, ended October 21, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Review Requested
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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lmao i have no grandchildren i have three daughters and i say these things every night. as my body ahces from work..sheeesh..
wishi i could find a way to cure that and spend special times playing along.
greatjob here
best wishes
Tory -
I really enjoyed this but I do believe a sedoka
consists of two parts. Wonderfull so far. though
thank you for entering I will not be judging for a while if you wish to fix. Thank you
Delila
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delightfulmess
I can't believe I forgot to put the second part in my entry. I had it written and only cut and pasted half of it. I apologize. It has been revised to include the whole sedoka.
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Ohh this was so sweet! I can personally really relate to this because my favorite person in the WHOLE world is my Granny. I remember when I was little she had this pillow that said, "If I knew how much fun children were, I would have had them first!"
Very lovely piece you got here.. good luck in the contest.
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Tarja
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. i am glad that you enjoyed my sedoka
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