These cuts so deep
Flesh wounds to keep
Forever my scars
Like millions of stars
I don’t wear them with pride
Symbolic, like each time I lied
To tell you of each time
I had committed a crime
There is nothing to be found
I am silent, no sound
I will not tell you where I hid the abuse
Or the excuse
I will not tell you where to find the hurt
Or my blood stained shirt
You will not find the broken bottle
Nor the marks of deliberate throttle
I wish to show the bruises on me
But afraid you just might not see
The truth that is out there
So look around, that’s my dare
Start up then work your way to the ground
But I’m not sure if it’s ready to be found
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Not a bad poem, could use a little bit of editing and revising, but over all its not bad. I can tell you were a bit gone when writing this. Did you go to another party. lol. I could say the rhyming needs a bit of work, but I think it's fine as is. But anyways, I like it. Keep up writing. I like it when you write, gives me something to do in my days of bored. lol. Love you cuz. By the way who's the Tarja chick who left you the I'm-a-better-poet-so-I'll-tell-you-if-ts-worthy-or-not-to-be-a-poem comment? I like how you responded to her. Its so you. All nice and subtle, but with a straight-forward responce. lol. I would have been a bitch but thats just me. I mean seriously if it hurt her brain to read, why the hell would she continue to read it and then comment if she didn't like it. It's common sense. Anyways I'll give you a call sometime. See ya.
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Everything about this is so cliche it actually hurt my brain to read it. The rhyming was forced, it didn't flow... and come one... cutting? Could this get more teen angsty? Ugh. Try to be more original next time.
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Ok your comment was a little harsh. You say you didn't like the poem because it was cliche and hurt your brain. Well then why did you continue to read it and comment on it. From the looks of it, it wasn't even worth your time. So why not just move on and not leave him a rude comment. He may not be the greatest poet, but hell at least he tries. Yeah he could fix it up a bit, but why not give him constructive critism instead. I'm surprised he was even nice enough to rate your comment a 5 star when it isn't worth it in my opinion. How about trying to be nice and offer advice instead of being a complete jerk about it.
*~*Tears-of-an-Angel*~* -
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Don't get involved in what's not your business.
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Ok you may think its not my business but when you bash in my cousins work like you did, makes it mine. Just like if this was vise versa and someone was on this about your cousin. Though seriously, why waste your time with his poem when you didn't even like it? Just answer me that. I've read some of your poems and I'll admit they're good and I liked them, but why do you think you have the right to bash down others work? If you don't like it just move on. No need to be harsh about their work. Others may like it, but you don't have to. I'm not trying to be snotty or a bitch like you came off earlier. I'm just trying to figure out why you wasted your time.
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AJ, I don't even think its worth it. She made her statement and was completely bitchy about. So what if she thinks she's better, just let her move on with her life. I thank you for the back up, but I don't think she'll begin to care one way or the other. She's just like Brittany. You hear her but you ignore and eventually she'll go away. So just let it go and I'll write a better poem for her and world and pray that it's not a completly worthless and hope that someone will like it. I'll tell Mari and mom and dad that you say hi. Just cool down and take care. Love ya.
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I could have figured it out for myself.. but it's obvious by you writing me that your cousin cannot fight her own battles. Well done... you haven't done anything but make her look weak and you look nosy.
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I appreciate the honesty, but could you be a little less rude. I'm not the greatest poet in the world nor will I ever be, so me writing poems a rare thing. You could look at the facts of the writer instead of harshly judging the poem.
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This site can be brutal. Move along. Sorry i don't lie to make all the poet's here feel better about themselves... for me pieces like this can't be fixed because the whole idea is silly.
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I'm not asking you to lie, but like my cousin said, constructive critism is always a bit better. Don't comment on peoples work if you don't like it. Not even worth it. Just go on and read someone else and comment how good theirs might be. Not everyone is perect but you don't need to tell the way you did me.
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Whatever... grow up kiddos. Without tough love once in awhile you won't grow. It's not bashing. So get over it.
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Ok I JUST told her to back off so don't worry even worry about it but she hasn't said shit about you so I would appreciate it if you didn't as well. But I'm not a kiddo, I'm 21. She's more thick headed than I am and jumped in on her own. So she's doing this all by herself and she happens be the same age as you. Whether you think her mentality is or not. Don't judge someone you don't know.
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