Old turn table,
and tattered tutus.
Gray heads,
and dusted faces.
The trembling prelude
The dance will soon begin…
Shortly after,
they have swept their shadows.
Hope you’ll come
and enjoy the show…
Critics and critiques are welcome :)
Comments
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From the very first stanza I pictured an old worn down stage with tattered curtains framing a stage and out from the side came ballerinas in all their grey glory dancing to the music coming off an old phonograph.... Stunning!!!
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I would like to have read more of this, not that I think your poem is too short, far from it, as an old ballet dancer myself, I enjoyed this nostalgic trip and love the reference to the "tattered tutu. Well done my friend. Val
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An interesting flip on the near-archetype of young, beautiful ballerinas.
The structure of the poem goes well with the idea of slow, almost ponderous thought, as age is said to bring. One is forced to slow down and absorb each line.
The alliteration of 'tattered tutus' is especially appealing, and the idea of a trembling prelude brings to mind music as played on an old record player.
The last metaphor, 'mopped their shadows' I found was a bit confusing -- what did you intend that to mean?
Though this poem is short, it's quite well done. I like the idea of old ballerinas attempting to regain the joy of their past - it's both a sobering reminder of the fleeting years of youth and a reminder that nothing, including glory, lasts forever.
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