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Big White Friend.

The neighbour next door
is having an affair…
So, I peek at clouds
through other dusty windows.

Would their mystery
inspire me?
As they float holding
such celestial bliss.
Mingle but remodel
so effortlessly.

Like a brilliant melody
in a timeless song
Gods’ hands push them
gently away.

Freeing the horizon
to my patient eyes,
calming the delirium always
teetering on my edge.
Such finessed whiteness
could never taint me
with evil colours.


Author notes

I entered this pre-write as it is my all tmie fav pick for my most fav poem, I have written, some might disagree, and im sure there might be better written ones..But reaally this one is it for me and a poem I can never forget writing


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Jade-
    February 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice poem I like your choice of words, and the imagery.

    Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck.

    xxx


  • poppa
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nice write Cindi.....licious even this flows so well, enjoyed it immensely....


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      February 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Poppa, Much appreciated. I hope to return the favour nd read some of your wonderful works


      Cindy


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    auntie or sister either one is great. this is a beautiful write and i love the way is penned. eitherway I would love to have you in my family you choose which one


  • The Jabberwock
    October 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was an excellent poem. I really enjoyed reading it, and have gone through it many times to find a fault in the poem and simply cannot!

    That said, in the way it is written I would suggest not capitalizing every first word in each new line. A capitalization in poetry should indicate a couple things, a name/title, an important word (which usually ties back to the name/title thing but takes more poetic license), or the beginning of a new sentance. If you capitalize each word at the beginning of every line it takes away from the form of the poetry.

    Anyway, thanks for entering and good luck!

    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      October 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I do agree with you actually. I hate that its something word does automatically to me and on the occasional poem I don't notice. But I shall change it. I agree that a poem reads better if it has grammer etc to have only capitals in the right spots. So thanks for pointing it out
      And thank you for reading

  • Notebook.mirth
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was a great way to express you emotions through am image of a calm relaxing cloud ... beautifull and quiet brilliant xox


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      October 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks darl I took the ten words it seemed to easy to create something with them hehehehe


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a great write, especially for using the words you had to. You have done so well here. All the best for the contest.

1 - 11 of 11