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Guessing you

Guessing my heart was right,
you preffer her, instead of being mine,
guess I wasn't real for you after all,
guess all you ever wanted was to make me fall.

Getting tired of your excuses,
getting sick of your goodbyes,
I know you find me useless,
because she has you tied.

Getting bored of your answers,
getting over you,
guess it never mattered,
what my heart felt for you.

so tell me, what do I have to do to make you see,
she's not the one you deserve,
that she can't love you like me,
that she only wants you hurt.

Then tell me how to pretend,
I never felt in love,
how can I ascend,
when you won't let me go.

Every moment I try to forget,
you walked right through my door,
every time I cry you more,
but you and I, we ain't no duet.

Guess you weren't meant to be,
guess you're just another guy,
guess you deserve the *bunny*,
guess she deserves the biggest buy.

Author notes

what do i have to do to make you see
she cant love you like me
by XXvampireeyesXX

this is something I had in my heart. I liked someone but he chose to love a *bunny*, really. what can I expect, I live in an akward world. hope you like it.

Option 2

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • MysteriousMoonlight
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Still love this poem!It's so great and has a great flow of words!


  • leander Moderators member
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is full of sorrow, and maybe here and there an angry edge to it too.

    I'm pretty sure that most of us will be able to relate to the feelings you've captured here, but sooner or later you'll find the 'right' one...

    Anyway, an oopsie I found:

    Stanza 1, line 2: preffer -> prefer


    I also noticed the rhymescheme being 'abab' - soft and hard rhyme, though last but one stanza you suddenly have the 'abba' format. Maybe you can twitch that one a little bit to get it in 'line' with the rest of the poem?

    The flow is a tad bit off here and there, but the rhyming makes that good.


    Thank you for entering this poem as well!
    Leander

  • MysteriousMoonlight
    December 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Removing to close this contest. please enter in other contest


  • MysteriousMoonlight
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry but could you please re enter this poem in a new contest i am holding because of some error made this contest will be shut down a new one will be started same type so don't change the poem please!

  • MysteriousMoonlight
    November 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Touching!!!I really almost cryed this is beautifully written and expressed


  • LonesomeDove09
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    :0. Touching. This brought tears in my eyes, I can relate so much. It's horrible when there's someone you like, but you know they like someone else, someone that doesn't know them like you, it's disgusting and causes great anguises. One of the most helpless feeling in the world. This may be my favorite poem!


  • lexie like woah
    October 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great write.. its touching, emotional, and has a great form.. what option would this fall under in my contest?? would it be option 2?? thats the one it sounds like.. anyways, thanks for entering and such..


    • Re-invention silver member
      October 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      yeah. sorry I forgot to place it but its number two. already written in the AN!


  • xxlisajazminexx
    October 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    i loved it sweeite and i am in the same situation right now... the man i love chose a whore instead of me... kills me to this day.....

    great job and written with pure passion ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    great job!!!!




    Thank you so much for entering this creative work of art into my Contest!!!!!!!

    much love and respects!!!
    XxLisaJazminexX
    _____________________________________________________________________


  • WishMeAway--x
    October 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    god do i know this one.

    best of luck.
    ♥


  • Xyku
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love your poetry. I just woke up, I'm half-dead still I loved the poem though, why can't see true love when it's there? =\

    saw an error, "every time I cry you more," and maybe another, but my eyes are all watery and stuff from just waking up. My mouth felt like sandpaper. My tongue, lips, mouth, everything. It was horrible. lol. And I had this wierd dream..dear god this dream I have to write about it. i dreamt that I had a fucking tupperware top with a jumper cable wrapped on it for a handle, and a sword I made, with a little plush toy and an elmo for weapons. And I fought all these aliens and stuff. We were moving though, and my grandpa was being a dick. But besides him,I fought this huge worm, which turned out she liked me, and wanted to do the dirty.. so I tried to, but uhh... she had like this super suction and it sucked all my life out, and I could barely move afterwards... lol... and some guys tried to help. But I put the worm chick inside of the u-haul so I could take her to tennessee with me oh and I got a suntan. Directly down my face, half of my face super cooked, the other half not cooked. And I went to school, and I threw paper wads at all these kids, and we watched some boring show. And then we ate, and I stole this 6 year old girls drink because she took mine first.

    Why am I typing this out? I need breakfast, lol..

    im sorry

    hi Desiree <3

1 - 11 of 11