I kneel before thee, m'lady, captured
in thy silken dreams, etched upon me.
Thou hast subdued me with perfumed
air, to encompass my soul in harmony.
Thine eyes of sapphire blue captivate,
whilst I hover within thy mystique.
Immersed am I, slipping into a trance,
humbled by chromatic gems before me.
O blessed maiden, thou art emblazoned
upon my thoughts, ne'er to vanish.
An eternal promise of devotion, I thrive
within majestic wings of raven beauty.
I say unto thee, I shall defend thy
honour with my very life, if need be.
I kneel before thee, m'lady, subdued
in thy tranquil dreams, etched upon me.
Author notes
This is a knight's promise to the one he loves.
Wallpaper credit~~
http://wallpapers.funutilities.com/wpapers/item/7378/Hand-and-Sword.html
In a list
A contest entry
- What Is Passion? by 2lullabyhaven.
425 points, ended July 5, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - my muse is suffering - GIVE ME INSPIRATION! by ellipsist.
1100 points, ended November 3, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Yer. anything in 5 MINUTES by SheDiedPretty.
400 points, ended October 14, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Remind Me of the One I Love by Dlvvanzor.
1200 points, ended October 16, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING YOU WANT! PRE-WRITES ALOUD! by Beautiful-N-Broken.
450 points, ended October 18, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love or friendship by Passionate Phoenix.
850 points, ended October 22, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Contest Cherry! by harajukuprincess.
300 points, ended November 5, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I turned one year old! by star wars fanatic.
600 points, ended January 24, 2008, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I am a true romantic, I love to read beautiful romance poetry by Entwining Beauty.
450 points, ended November 25, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything by Luna Darling.
750 points, ended December 16, 2007, 62 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is still a work in progress, and I await this challenge with open arms.
Comments
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To speak of truthfull heart devine,
is honour called and shared in time,
a maiden fair thee have entrusted,
a finger ring upon encrusted.
To lay a life as duty calls,
is courage shown in loves sweet falls,
but given is thy trust to thee,
that both fair hearts forever be.
Only a Knight of honour can portray such beauty as in these words you graced your maidens heart. Exceptionally well done Sir. Well done indeed.
Deserved of favours Golden in colour shown.
Respectfully yours
Sir Pelleas
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I thank thee, Sir Pelleas!
Mike suggested I read your work. I can see why. I love the Olde English you used here.
Don
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I can see why this has won so many tropies. This is a brilliant piece of writing. It really is very beautiful I like to read Olde English from time to time, there is something about that language that really produces that right atmosphere you are looking for. Well done Don, fantastic piece here.
Wayne Leon
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Thank you!
This was my first attempt at Olde English. I thank thee, mine friend. Thou hast inspired this knight to continue on this literary journey of chivalry and divinity.
Sir Don
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Awesome work...
Love what you have done here with the olde english, it adds a certain civilry & honour to the piece & embues passion behind the words...
I tend to write a few of these myself from time to time, so love to see other poets keeping the tradition going too...
Another outstanding piece...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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Thank you so much, Fritz.
It's been a while since I wrote this one. It's one of my personal favorites. I'm going to work on a vampyre piece in Olde English soon.
Don
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In stanza 3 why sapphire blue, thats similar to saying blue blue, the image of this lady is very clear, I am almost swooning to meet her, why the Shakespearian language, you seem to have grown fond to it. an image of devotion, and one mostly any Samurai or knight in Authors court can relate to, as they say chivalry is dead, perhaps your its stalwart
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Thank you so much, Deindichter.
"Sapphire blue" does tend to be a bit repetitious, but I just liked the sound of it. I started writing Olde English after reading some of the older poetry on AP, as well as being inspired by PastelMoon on AP. Her archaic style is so eloquent that I swear she was actually there sometimes. If you have never read her, it's a real treat.
Don
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I believe i've read this before
but it is one that I could read over and over
it's classic romance-- breath-taking in its beauty
and grace!
Thank you for sharing
~Pastel -
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Thank you so much, Pastel.
This is one of my favorites. Your words make me smile.
Don
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The adoration and regard he feels for his Lady just pours from your words. A wonderful depiction of this Knight's dedication.
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Thank you so much, DeJaBlue.
I really enjoyed writing this one. It was my first attempt at writing Olde English. I've only written two medieval romance poems, so I think I'll do another one soon.
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I really enjoy poems written in this style...they are so romantic and chivalrous. I'll keep looking
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I wrote one similar to this called Treasured Maiden in Pearls.
I'm gonna blush this morning. Thank you for reading so many of my poems.
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more lines??? Nope sometimes I think a poet stops writing because its great how it is and they are not suppose to add more.....may ruin it. I like this a lot
your poetry has etched upon me meh!! lol awesome writer is youu
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Now, that I went back and read this again, I agree with you.
You're right. I shouldn't add more lines to it. Thank you.
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Can you please re-enter this I accidently removed it -
Knight70 Excellent Poem dear this is awesome I don't know if I commented on this one before there is so manyy lol. Congratulations on the previously won trophies. Thank you for entering my contest I wish you the best.
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Thank you!
It took me a while to find one that you didn't already comment on. You've commented on most of mine. Don
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Wonderfully expressed with emotion.
The usage of the old style of writing is interesting.
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A very elegent and stately poem Well done!
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I would like to say that your poem is bueatifully written in every aspect. I felt the love and you keept me reading, nice work.
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Thank you very much.
It sure is nice to get so many kind words on this one. Don
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A truly glittering promise from a knight to his fair lady 'emblazoned upon my thoughts' Lib x x loved 'captured in thy silken dreams
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Thank you so much, libithina.
What a kind comment to wake up to! Don
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This poem is completely captivating in the romance of the piece. As I read I could imagine the Knight kneeling before the Raven haired Lady, totally entranced by her beauty, pledging his love, devotion and courage to protect her honour. The days of knights were barbaric in many ways but they held a certain charm in the romance of the ear that is missing today. As a rhyme writer I have to say this is one freeverse piece that I have really enjoyed reading.
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Thank you so much for these glowing comments!
This was my first medieval piece. I have a similar one that rhymes. I saw that you mentioned Passionate Knight on your author page. I've read a few of his poems. He leaves some of the most thoughtful comments on my work. I'm a parent, and a full-time college student, so I don't get to read his work as much as I would like to. I'm going to be reading some of yours today, to return the favor. Your words just made my morning.
Don
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aWSOME
AS i READ THIS i THOUGHT OF SHAKESPEAR WHICH IS A GREAT COMPLAMENT BECAUSE IT IS IN DEED ONE OF MY FAVORITE READS, Sorry for shouting need to get my nails cut But I trully love your style I will be reading more
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Thank you so much.
This was my very first poem in Olde English. It's so much fun to write. I've only written three of them so far. Don
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Sir Don
A well written poem of fealty to thy Lady. Well, done sir.
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Thank you!!
Your comments today on a couple of my poems have made my day. Don
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amazingly written good luck
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This is a very awesome poem. The imagery is awesome the flow was great. You did a fantastic job with this poem my poetic friend. I don't want to say your name due to the fact that this is in contest I'm not sure have been judged yet or not, and congratulations on winning gold with this. It deserved it. Good luck to you in all that you do and I look forward to reading more from you.
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Thank you very much!
That's a glowing comment, coming from a true romance poet like yourself. That just makes my day. Don
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THIS WRITE IS BEAUTIFUL..YOUR LADY IS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE HAD YOU WRITE THIS FOR HER...KEEP ON WRITTING. :
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I am not very conversant with the era or for that matter u can consider me naive in technicalities but what I can surely say about this piece is that it truly touched me... romance and love in such controlled and elegant flow... an honest submission to true love...
loved the lines -
"Thou hast subdued me with perfumed
air, to encompass my soul in harmony."
Immersed am I, slipping into a trance,
humbled by chromatic gems before me.
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Thank you!!
This was my first poem in Olde English. I'm proud of it. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. It's one of my personal favorites.
~Knight70
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PS: Congrats on the Gold
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Thank you, Himler!
I'm really proud of this one, especially since it's the first one I wrote. Don
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This is an excellent first write with the olde english theme.
It is so passionate!
Hugz
Himler
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This is so beautiful! I love your descriptions and eloquent language. This is really amazing and thank you so much for entering! Please put the secret phrase in your author's notes, though!
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You just have a captivating way of portraying love, I can see this being played out over a balcony in some olden land, it is with grace and style and very much romance that you write and I stand and applaud this
Karen
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Thank you!
That means so much to me. This was my very first medieval piece. Since I started writing poetry a little under a year ago, I have found that Olde English is definitely something that I find so rewarding to write. One of these days, I hope to learn to write English sonnets in Olde English. My favorite sixteenth century poet is Sir Walter Raleigh. Don
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this is so baroque and refeshing at the same time! I love the language and the unfettered devotion and love your knight feels to his lady! thank you so much for the entry! ~~Hara
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Thank you so much, Hara.
What a kind comment to wake up to this morning! Knight70
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Simply one word Bravo!!! This is wonderful.
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Thank you so much.
I loved writing this piece. I can't wait to add to it. I'm so caught up with being in college full-time, and being with my kids, so it's tough to find time to write. It's nice to give myself a break from school. Writing does that for me.
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Oh Don this is so beautiful. I love this sort of writing and also that time in history. I am so captivated by King Arthur and all of the medieval fanfare. You did a wonderful job with this piece. Good luck in the contest.
Noreen
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Thank you so much, Noreen.
This was my first medieval piece. I wrote another one the other night. My favorite sixteenth century poet is Sir Walter Raleigh. Olde English is captivating all by itself. Don
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Stunning!
What a charming poem,
I had to read it again and again.
it's so enchanting !
Impressive!
~Pastel
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Thank you so much.
This was my very first medieval piece. I wrote a similar piece to this earlier tonight that I haven't posted yet. I love the background on your page, by the way, especially with the animated raindrops. Knight70
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can i have your writing talent please?
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Thank you so much, Crystal.
This was my very first medieval piece. It's actually one of my favorite poems I've written, too. Olde English is so poetic. It definitely originated in a romantic era. I am working on four new lines for this piece that I really like. Hopefully, I will get them added to this in a few days. I really love writing in this genre. I will, undoubtedly, write many more.
Don
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yes I liked this, made a change to read a write with 'old style' english, thanks for entering
Heather-Grace x -
'Thou hath' I love the touch of Olde English, simply equisite. It is a very poetic touch to the writing. If I had more time, this little poem would make me want to read all of your poetry
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HOLY Smokes this is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally loved this!!! Excellent write~
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Thank you so much!
This was my first medieval romance piece. I am thrilled that you enjoyed it. I am working on a few new lines to toss into the middle somewhere. I've often wondered what it would have been like to have lived in the Medieval era, and to have been a knight. Olde English is definitely poetic all by itself. Knight70
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Very good write. Good luck in the contest!
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Dear Poet..This is incredible.
I know you're proud of this.
Phenomenal as is -- and all the more
when you've completed it.
Looking forward to another MasterPiece.
Be sure to send me the link once it's done!
~May the ink in your pen flow freely~
Chaos
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Thank you, Chaos!
I'm so glad that you enjoyed this. I've got one line that I am working on to add to this. I want to get at least 3 or 4 lines more. I really am thrilled with how it's turned out. It's my first medieval piece. Knight70
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Incredible! Steeped in gleaming armor and bowed heads. Noble and consummed with passion. Love it! Blessings, Doris
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Thank you so much.
This was my first medieval piece, so I'm thrilled to see that I got such wonderful comments on it. It really makes my day.
Knight70
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Its nice in its voice towards your special lady, I'm not sure if this is true, so ignore it if so. But usually your work has a lot more substance, a lot more image and wordplay, here you have relied so heavily on the old but still modern English; points like 'sapphire blue' were nice, but still the word choice was almost a slight overwhelming, not in difficulty per se, but still overwhelming for some reason to me.
I forget where I read it exactly, but 'raven beauty' seemed a bit out of place, almost as if another word might have described your muse/lover a tad bit more completely.
All and all this is a wonderful piece, i'm simply speaking in degrees as opposed to absolute good/bad, if that makes sense at all, but this was a great in all sincerity. -
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Thank you, Deindichter.
No, this is about a fictional knight. I was thinking of what this knight might be saying to the one he loves, before he heads off to defend his kingdom. I've done a lot of reading on the medieval era. I've often wondered what it might have been like to have lived as a knight back then when every word they spoke was poetic. In this day and age, it would certainly be very "overwhelming" to hear this coming out of anyone's mouth, but in the time period I'm writing about here, it's the everyday talk of a knight professing his undying devotion to the one he loves. Knight70
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It made me think of the Man From La Mancha and Dolcinia (still can't spell that... -_-;.)That was cool.
Thanks for entering!
-Dlvvanzor
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The strength of your sword and the passion of thine heart makes this piece come alive. You honoured your fair lady with this masterpiece. I wish you the best of luck in the contests you entered...
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I thank thee, Passionate Knight!
I appreciate your comments a great deal, from one knight to another.
Fair thee well, brother!
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this definitely has poetic merit: the form, the wording, the period specific language, the placement, the rhythm & rhyme scheme... I wish that this piece was the kind that my muse was looking for... I am no expert but cannot find flaw with your form, this is just not the kind of poetry that I generally prefer to read... I thank you for your participation in my contest...
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Thank you very much.
I sincerely appreciate your kind comments and honesty. Would it be too late to remove these from your contest, and add something else? Knight70
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I think your lady will be honour by this, the Knight hath done well. There is no faulths as I see.
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I thank thee, milady.
Knight70
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very stunning loved the language in this, and it seems to shout off the pages with such power like it did come from a king I delighted in this, and thank you for sharing, I wish this the best in the contest this one has my vote!
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I thank thee!
Aye, I didst take pleasure in penning this piece.
Sir Don, Knight of Avalon
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IMPRESSED
oh my god... i love this piece... i think that this might be one of my favorite pieces that you have written....I really like it a lot and thank you so much for giving me the site....wow! this poem is really amazing...
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Thank you so much, Crystal.
I really loved writing this piece. In fact, I am adding more to it. Over the next few weeks, I hope to have some more lines somewhere in the middle of it. I want to keep the first stanza and last stanza where they are, and fill in the middle. Olde English is truly a romantic language of centuries passed that I adore. Knight70
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The language, dreams, color, and depth of promise blend here to create a unique write filled with romance and fantasy. It is quite captivating...I love the ending line that echoes the first couplet with it's reference to dreams. Keep that pen flowing!
Blue
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Thank you so much, Blue!
I really love to read about that era, so I'm delighted that I am writing about it now. I am so glad that you enjoyed this. I've got some more lines to fit into the middle, but they aren't finished yet. My brother, Adam, regularly attends medieval festivals with his wife, so I thought this would be something he could really appreciate. I'm working on another poem for my brother, called Sir Adam, Knight of Avalon. It's about a knight who stands bold, ready to defend his honor with his life, if need be. Knight70
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Awesome!!!
This is an exceptional write, I do like the ones written with thee, thy and thou. Don't know why but they always seem to read better. Best of luck in the contest! -
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Thank you, pinktat.
I really appreciate your kind comments on my poetry. Olde English is a language of centuries passed that is poetic all by itself. Knight70
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Amazing...
This is by far your best piece..
I adore each and every line..
Amazing gift..so very beautiful..
"The language of the sixteenth century is incredibly romantic. It's a concept that I think we have lost track of in this day " So very well said..
Bravo my dear brother..
This exceeds excellence..
Big Smiles.....
Peace
~A~
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Thank you, Asdzaa!
This is my personal favorite free write I've done. In a way, it's a cross between freewrite and rhyme, since the rhyme is scattered in no particular order, but it still has a really nice free-flowing rhythm to it. I wanted to put myself in the knight's shoes, as he professes his undying love to his raven beauty. I'm on cloud nine with your comments on it. I truly love the Olde English style. It's from an era that has always left me in awe.
If I ever had a time machine, I'd be back in the sixteenth century in a pinch. I'm going to write a ballad about Merlin in this genre next. My big brother and his wife regularly attend medieval festivals several times a year, so this one is going to be for them. I'm going to put it into a different font, to fit the period. I've got a great wallpaper of a mystic crystal to provide me with some more muse for the Merlin poem. I have much more to write for this poem first, though, while my brain implodes from doing so much homework the last few days. I'm starting to see accounts payable and trial balances that don't balance in my dreams from my accounting class. It's my worst nightmare come true. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ~Knight70
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The language in this is exceptional. I love the Olde English. It is in perfect harmony with the theme of the write. The imagery is enough to leave one breathless as well as the tender emotions pledged by the knight to his lady love. I look forward to reading it when you have added more. Thank you for sharing this excellent piece of medieval romance. Good luck in the contests.
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Thank you kindly.
I'm writing this for my brother and his wife. They both attend medieval fairs several times a year. They have the clothes, swords..... you name it. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. ~Knight70
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Exceptional
I love your Olde English usage in this very romantic and beautiful ballad, as though penned by a knight/troubadore. I look forward to your additions to this marvelous poem. A real delight to read. Best of luck in your contests. This is an exceptional poem.
Mercury Rising
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Thank you so much, David.
Your thoughtful comments do so much to help me. The language that was prevalent in those days was incredibly romantic. It's always been an era that I've really loved to read about for years. This is my first attempt at writing it, and I'm delighted with how it's turning out. I've often wondered what it would have been like to have lived as a knight in the sixteenth century. I'm thinking about writing something about Merlin in this genre next.
I passed on a link to your page to a fellow poet at AP today. Her name is Tarja, and she is from Italy. She is truly a gifted poet. She loves poetry that rhymes most of all, so I was happy to send her a link to your work. Your rhyme never ceases to inspire me. I have no doubt you will get many comments from her before too long. She writes such thoughtful comments on mine. Knight70
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Wow... just ... wow! This was simply amazing. I felt really connected to this piece somehow... like it was written specifically for me. Everything about this was just brilliant. Wonderful job.
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Thank you so much.
I really love working on this one. I hope to have some more lines added to it in the next couple of weeks. The language of the sixteenth century is incredibly romantic. It's a concept that I think we have lost track of in this day and age.
Knight70
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just lovely.... please if you continue to add on, let me know... becasue i will surely never tire of reading this... and dreaming....
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Absolutely!
Thank you! I am so glad that I could share this with you. I will, undoubtedly, add much more to it as time passes. I'm a firm believer in that a poem is never truly finished, just abandoned. Knight70
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Dude.
DUDE!!
KICK ACE! love the old style speech. But I didn't know a few words. Oh well, that's why god made the dictionary right. Haha, but yea. Seriously speechless. Normally I give suggestions but yea, I'm drawing a blank here. That means you did good. So A+ I guess is all I can say.
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oh.... i could read this OVER and OVER... and get caught up in the whole idea that this would be true... thank you SO much for sharing this...
i loved the style you used with the words.... it all drew me in and i wish i could afford to travel back those 500 years to be the raven beauty...
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You are quite welcome.
This is about half done so far. I'm really happy with how it's turned out so far. There is just something incredibly romantic about the sixteenth century that I have always found fascinating. To have lived in that era as a knight, I think that I would have been in heaven....that is unless I got a sword stuck in my gullet. Knight70
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haha... too funny... i was reading along about the romance... and sighing.. then... the sword came into it and stuck you in the gullet.... i just laughed so hard... well... not about you getting stuck... but... maybe so... haha... jk... it was just funny how you wrote that in there... thanks for the chuckle!
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Sir Knight, This is a very good poem. I like the language and honor Milady. This is a majestic poem, for sure, in a silken dream.
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I thank thee, brother!
I'm glad that you enjoyed it, Jeff. It's only about half done so far. There's something about the sixteenth century that I find so appealing. It's truly one of the most romantic eras I have ever read about. Don
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Ah me thinks this answers the question quite well...what is passion? thou hast well spoken hahaha
thanks for this lovely entrance into my contest -
this poem sounds just like you...as of you're the knight...bit wait...you are!! You're that knight in shineing aurmor...defending honour and justice...and such a beautiful heart you do have!!
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I thank thee, milady.
Aye, I wrote this one a couple of hours ago. It's about half done, so far. I really like the way it's turning out so far. I sometimes wonder what it must have been like to have lived as a knight in the sixteenth century; to have lived for a noble cause. From everything I have ever read about the time period, for all its brutality, it was a romantic era, something we seem to have lost in this day and age. The more I think about it, I think we might be far more immersed in brutality today. Perhaps, we could go back and learn a thing or two about what's really important in life. This is my knightly muse.
Knight70
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