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Those grey eyes...

Those grey eyes staring at you
Those grey eyes scaring you

Those grey eyes follow where you go
Those grey eyes colder than the snow

Those grey eyes make you feel unsafe
The glare of them deciding your cold fate

Those grey eyes creeping in your head
Grey eyes beckoning the dead...

This is the first poem I have written on here, please put forward any comments you have to make.

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Comments


  • angel-blood
    October 14, 2007

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    Wow, you are good at this. Maybe you should try a contest. Just make sure you are happy with what you're writing and you'll go far.

  • LuchiaNanami
    October 13, 2007

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    Amazing!

    Your first poem? That was great! It kind-of scared me a little (NO OFFENSE!!) I like this first poem! Second comment! Yippie!!


  • DeadlyTurnip
    October 13, 2007

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    First comment! Woot! This was a lot like one of my first poems on this site. I'm not sure the repitition really worked in this piece, but the last stanza is quite powerful. The last line seems a little off though.