I'm just stunned with
The make-up of my being:
How a delicate underbelly
With utmost ease and grace
Could carry a boulder,
Know where to hide
When the predators are prowling
And when to freely walk;
Differentiate between light and dark
Yet sightless I'm called.
Speech-impaired also I am
Yet it is a marvel
That I could pen with silver ink
And utter romantic words
To bring my love b-U-m-P-i-N-g
Over rugged terrains
To cling to me all night.
Right here feasting
On a delectable meal
I do listen
To the subtle rumblings
Deep within the earth bowels
And know when to forgo
All of my carnal pursuits
And sojourn awhile in hibernation.
I hoard my breath in the season of drought
So I can live richly again in the rains.
A contest entry
- Allpoetry and Winklings combined Autumn Poet Laureate. by Lyndon.
1830 points, ended December 8, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Foresight at a personal level
is a thorny issue which you explore. You have written an accessible poem which is rich in meanings and worth reading again at a later time. I do not have much patience with possessive abstracts ( a cheap kind of personification in this day and age) so therefore I do not mind "earth bowels" as it is, at all.
I notice some commentators have taken a line and built an analogy. One should not do this and I shan't.
The predator / prey metaphor works very well for you.
Most important of all are the contrasts provided which suggest paradoxes yet are not so!
The animal metaphor works so well for you, poet, that your personality is less vulnerable to us than it otherwise would be yet there is foresight for you and, instinctually, in the whole of creation.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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This lends itself to several interpretations in a subtle personification. I've reread and paused several times, and I applaud you on your interesting ideas.
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Good job on this ...
and I enjoyed reading it, which isn't always the case when I'm reading other entries in contests I've entered. I wonder why you didn't add an " 's" to Earth bowels though? Otherwise, this is very good and I see nothing you should even think of changing.
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The last two lines ...
seemed to ask me to read the poem once again so that I could truly appreciate what you had previously shared and to look at all from another angle of thought. Very interesting metaphorical study of human relationships that so tactfully addressed the "I have a headache" issue. Clever! Good luck in the contest. joy
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Instinct is ever a mystery and wonder. Delectable.
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