The greatest story never told is presently about to unfold and i am stuck wondering what my lines are going to be. All around me exists happiness, admist a weird kind of sappiness that I find more than disgusting considering the things going on inside of me. Every day I deal with fear concerning the death of she that I hold dear and now I deal with the actual death of one I loved but not enough to hold at all.
A soldier in this life, and for what reason did he fall? They say time tells all, and every story cracks, but nothing will cure his mother's pain, not a damn thing will bring him back. Never again will we see that crooked grin or hear of the dirt he did, and because I was too stubborn to face my family all the memories I have star him as a kid. Us fighting over wrestling men, us acting a fool in my grand mother's living room, hiding seek in his grand mothers house, jumping in and out the abandoned truck - cousin's always make room. Cousin's always have love, even if only spoken at funerals. Cousin's always have child hoods even when being adults become unbearable.
I can't seem to cry yet. I can't seem to accept he's gone. The reality is a bitch and seems all wrong. He was the real one, asshole that he may have been. He was my childhood cousin, now become a man. Now part of the fallen, at the hands of some man, with no right to take his life . Son. Brother, Cousin. Nephew. Never father to child. Never husband to wife.
And all I can wonder is why? What is the point in this all? A soldier in this life, why'd he have to fall?
Wiser
Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved
Author notes
Couple months before my mother died, my cousin was shot and killed (all over some girl). (Written July 30,2006)
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