Silently sitting
With my head to wall..
imagening how it would feel to fall
My head is afloat with the clouds up above
side by side with a beautiful dove
Patiently Pondering
Should i ever get down
i feel so alive,like im in my own town
Nothing but peace, beauty and air
so many sights, i just sit and stare
Gracefully Grinning
As i feel so at eas
in my very own world with nobody to please
It's the best feeling ever, i don't want it to stop
as i sit and watch from the great rooftop
Author notes
My choice was a poem on the topic rooftops.
My name is jasmine and im seventeen, i live
in ireland and i love poetry and writing
A contest entry
- Freewrite by Samyuktha P.C..
450 points, ended October 29, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - whatever by leander.
615 points, ended October 23, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion?how could it change?
Comments
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Nicely whimsical! I was up on that rooftop relaxing with you. Great job of drawing in your reader! Good luck in the contest!
Sheryl
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This poem somehow reminded me of that song where the singer is on top of the world, looking at everything underneath her (whichever it may be called - lol
)
Anyway, I quite like this poem, it has this soft and smooth feel to it... The rhyme sounded sometimes forced though, but that's not a big issue
also found one little oopsie:
line 12: 'eas' should be ease
Thank you for entering this contest
Leander -
this was a great write. I's are always captalized though. I wish I could go to this place. Keep up the good work.
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I can see why you love writing. When we observe, listen and watch, translating into words becomes magic. This is a really well written poem. I want you to just ask someone to help you correct the grammar and spelling. Edit it a bit. Congrajulations on this wonderful entry and thanks for the wonderful ideas you have given me.
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