This corner is taken
(though not by a dreamer)
No comfort in silence
(much more of a screamer)
The eye is constrained
(to visions of disgrace)
This negative ego
(has found a new face)
With no
Hope to
Escape this…
Hell!
Fleeting seconds in existence
For once in lifetime
Why can’t I just feel barely human?
(just for a moment…)
(For a few precious moments…)
Retracting emotion
(no path to diffusion)
Assaulting the remnants
(so there’s a conclusion)
Fornicating the thought
(in trust of it breeding)
The path’s multiply
(but I know where they’re leading)
Can not
Slow this
Race into…
Hate!
Fleeting hopes losing form
For once in a lifetime
Why can’t I just look barely human?
(just for a moment…)
(For a few precious moments…)
Seizure
Takes it toll
I wanted to hear the words just once
Eliminate
This ragged soul
The truth of ugliness leaves no conscience
Hell!
Fleeting seconds in existence
For once in lifetime
Why can’t I just feel barely human?
(just for a moment…)
(For a few precious moments…)
Hate!
Fleeting hopes losing form
For once in a lifetime
Why can’t I just look barely human?
(just for a moment…)
(For a few precious moments…)
Simple words……
Never spoken…
Never heard……
Not even as token…
It’s so precious…
Just to feel…
Once in a lifetime…
That it may heal…
That the ugliness…
Was in my mind…
That someone found…
Surface beauty all other’s denied
(just for a moment…)
(for a few precious moments…)
Author notes
For Contest 'Oh The Options!!!' - Option 1. Write your own song. It can be about whatever you like. Heartbreak, falling in love, a drug trip, old memories... Whatever you desire. Just lay it out like a song. Would love for you to tell me what kind of genre your song would be as well in An, but this isn't mandatory. -Prewrites allowed-
Had to write this one as lyrics, for some reason, it's just the way it wanted to come out. Musically, in my head, I was singing/humming this piece very much like Opiate/Undertow era Tool.
Ever feel you are really ugly? Ever been told it by practically everyone your whole life, ever since you were young? Ever 100% totally agreed with them?
Ever wanted to feel attractive, to feel that someone else finds you attractive, to have someone call you good looking, hot etc etc, just once in your life, in such a way that if they do say it your mind actually hear's them?
Yet no matter how much you wish this, it never seems to happen (or if it does, your mind cant accept it so it blots it from your memory). Thus reinforcing in your own mind you are exactly what you have always seen yourself to be....Perpetually Ugly.....
And as each day goes by, you find yourself desperately wishing with all your heart to hear otherwise, more and more...
So, um, yeah. That's what this piece is about.
(Sorry for the long, rambling Author's Notes)
In a list
A contest entry
- Give Me You by TheLostGirl.
376 points, ended October 12, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Songs, Songs and more Songs by Dark Soul Reaper.
360 points, ended October 25, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Smile, Make Me Laugh, Make Me Cry, Just Make Me Feel by Viyanna Rosemarie.
550 points, ended October 26, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Self Image...... Tell me about it.. by BeautifulCurse.
600 points, ended January 26, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me you by Xx Secrets xX.
600 points, ended February 1, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Oh The Options!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended February 19, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Awww this is lovely! So expressive, it kind of reminds me a bit of a fable or some form of a lesson.
-
I loved this piece! Great song I could hear it in my mined! Great Write! Thanks for entering and good luck!
-
-
Thank you very much. Not an easy piece to write (emotionally) but had to get it out.
-
-
the "long rambling author notes" are perfectly fine.. sometimes we just need to vent and let it all out.. even if its in the form of a ramble.. this piece is great.. very deep and relatable... i could really see this being a song.. the way i heard it when i read it reminded of a linkin park song.. though not them doing it.. if that makes any sense... almost like somewhat singing/scremaing/rapping... very good.. i really enjoyed reading this.. great write and good luck...
-
-
Thank you very much. For some reason when writing this it was early Tool I had going around my head.
-
-
Wow this is quite deep. I could feel a sort of rage coming through it but its not like you want to hit someone its like you are angry at the world for what you are for some reason. I get that ou don't feel like you belong and you should be somewhere else or at least a better place in time. You really brought out the emotion in this one and also it is very well written.
-
-
Thank you very much. The feeling out of place or out of time that is something I have always felt, to a greater or lesser degree. As for rage, it is no doubt there, though when writing this piece it was probably seeping through subconciously.
As for who the rage and particularly who the hate was focussed at, it's not really focussed at the world or anyone in it, it is purely focussed on myself.
It is a big self-hate piece I suppose you could say.
-
-
i would like to thank you for this wonderful entry into my make me feel something contest. i am wishing you the best of luck in all your future writings and in this contest of mine as well. viyanna rosemarie
-
-
Thank you. It was a very worthwhile contest to enter.
-
-
Not bad. I like it. I can see this being a good song, though i had a lil trouble putting it to some music. I like it though. Keep up the good work and keep pennin.
-
-
Thank you very much. Musically, it was going round my head like early era Tool, maybe similar to Cold and Ugly from Opiate, Bottom or Swamp song from Undertow.
-
-
I love this one!!! So incredibly relatable, gah, I feel like it's something I would write, but more beautifully crafted.(and in response to your author's notes...yes...but worth is not found in beauty)
-
-
Thank you. Yes, this is very true, there is worth in everyone, somewhere deep inside, but sometimes it's nice just to hear that there is some on "the surface" too, and as I was saying, it really does become a case of the more it is lacking, the more desperately you want to hear it(and the more painful it becomes the longer you don't).
-
-
Simple words……
Never spoken…
Never heard……
Not even as token…
It’s so precious…
I am quite a fan of this part not even as a token. Did you mean token like, color invaded by a huge area of white or did you mean token like in an arcade? it only fits one way but I was just asking. I really like this piece and trust me sometimes you need to make things long to make them fit what you want them to fit. Very good entry thank you -
-
Thank you very much. I was meaning token as in perfunctory, a token gesture, just saying it for the sake of it, without meaning.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
