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Flitting Dreams

When I'm birdwalking
  down memory lane
One memory sparks many more to explain
            and a thousand more images of hunger and pain
Chasing that girl down the street through the rain
I thought I sensed a little disdain
      when I said the tears made me happy
I wish I could remember all the good times we shared
      instead of writing crappy poetry

The walks snuck at night
the bus to Spokane
blocking the light with the cup of my hand
the longing of eyes and the safety of sleep
are the hardest of memories to keep
     
            when birdwalking down memory lane

Do you remember?

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Comments


  • Oleander
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    Loved your poem!! Great work. It has a great rhythm and metaphor. Plus today I'm sad and it's raining so I can relate. Keep writing!!!


  • karma-n-peace
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, sorry, I was taken off guard by the rhyming.
    Either way it is a beautiful poem and I still like it.
    I meant no offense and was only giving my personal opinion, which is that it is a very good poem.
    Free write or rhyme ,it doesn't matter . It's your work and it says what you intend for it to say.


  • karma-n-peace
    October 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Actually I think is a very good poem.
    It's heartfelt and has some great descriptions.
    Perhaps some puncuation and capitalization is called for.
    The line " instead of writing crappy poetry ", I think this is meant to be in rythm with " when I said the tears made me happy " and I understand the message but I think you could have come up with a more creative way to get that in there.
    Great piece though.