Silly bastard
Don’t you know I hate you
The way you scrape your fork at dinner
Your putrid filth stained my nostrils…
And now I think I smell you everywhere
I wish I could forget the way you smile
Cigarette stained teeth…
Eaten by colors, yellow and black
As rotten as the words you speak
And I remain a loveless shadow
swallowed by my own pain…
Author notes
poem by: AnaRexic
A contest entry
- Prewrites! by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 19, 2008, 116 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How did you start / Can you remember? Show me ! by tarcus.
600 points, ended January 17, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This makes me remember someone who just passed away... I miss him, despite that the whole time I knew him I disliked him, but it's just he was going to get better and then death snatches him. Brings tears to my eyes. I don't want to feel anything bad towards him anymore. Good write in the sense you brought about lots of feelings. Good description as well.
Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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As an ex smoker i resembled those remarks at one stage in my life.
Hopefully it was just the smoking that annoyed people
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You write so brilliantly! The whole poem is a masterpiece, but the last two lines go beyond a work of art. I'm in total awe of your writing that I have read so far. Keep penning for you were born to write.
Ted E
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I hate smoking more than I ever thought I could hate anything. And this poem is pretty much how I feel about it. Disgusting. Putrid. Rancid. Foul. I agree with the comment below. 'And I remain a loveless shadow
swallowed by my own pain…'; a perfect portrayal of loneliness. Well done! I entered this contest too, but I want you to win.
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"And I remain a loveless shadow
swallowed by my own pain…"
You know, this is one of the best descriptions of loneliness I've read on this site. Very well done here (and in the rest of the poem).
This is great-- it makes me feel repulsed, and I hardly ever have reactions to poetry. Great work.
--Cris -
There is so much more
There is so much more to come from you I know it and am prepares to wait. Almost like waiting for the morning paper. Will it be here on time.
Nice work once again.
Now I can get back to work.
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Is it possible to describe repulsion in a touching way? I didn't think so, but you did, so there must be. Bravo.
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