I don't get it.
This just isn't me.
These thoughts inside me head...
It's like some else is saying them,
whispering them
inside my head.
But they are not whispering any more...
they are just getting louder
and louder
and louder.
And it is getting harder and hard
not to listen to them and just
kill myself.
But i know i wont
I cant
There are technical reasons
like i cant swallow pills...
i am scared of knives...
we don't have a gun...
and jumping off the roof just isn't a guarantee
I guess if i was desperate enough
i could just drive to the bridge...
but i don't want to die...
i love life...i really do
i am just having such a hard time right now
i just want someone to talk to.
God is the only one who can take a life
He has plans for me
and i want to make him
Proud
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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So we are taught to just assume the author isn't writing about themselves when it comes to poetry because anyone can write about anything..but tonight, and dont tell my professor, i am throwing that rule out the window. Sometimes you have to make assumptions in the other direction for the good of others. If this is really how you feel...Believe me, i understand more than you know. What I also understand is that this life has so much more to offer than what we can see lying in front of us. I know you say you dont want to die, but it doesnt really matter what we say to ourselves because i know, like you do, that the voices in our heads from people in our lives and such are much stronger than our weak and fragile voices. I know that life gets hard, i really honestly do. I know that it at times, well a lot of the time, can be Hell but I also know that if we give up now, we will never know what we would miss out on or the people that would be destroyed from our passings. I am glad that you realize that God plays such a lead role and that you are willing to submit yourself to him and His will. I think that is great. I just want you to know that even though you know you want to live, you still need to be careful about the voices in your head..I know what that is like. If you weren't writing about you, then i just told you a lot about myself and may have just made a fool out of myself but on the off chance i could have made a minute difference, i am willing to take that chance...i STRONGLY encourage you to read Mary Oliver's poem "The Journey" if you have not read it already. It is amazing and talks a lot about voices and taking control and hearing your own voice. I love her poetry and am actually using that poem as one of my individual projects in my college english class. I love it. Check it out, i mean it!
I am ALWAYS here if you need to talk. I did love the poem after all of the gibberish i typed. It was well written and I could feel all of the emotions that went a long with it. Keep up the great work, and like I said, i am ALWAYS here..
-ashlee
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wow babe this is very intense i can feel wat your feeling iam here if you ever wanna talk
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