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Armchair Angst Every Autumn- HM

Missing image



You have settled into your own acceptance
why things cut wide swaths to leave you
so you can not bear any leavings.

There is pain in a wide arc
before they pull wheat down
with their turn and lift
behind gray crepe sky

You said, “I am tired of autumn poems.”
I agree.  But before stubble trips us
in our late walk, let’s consider
its square house of cards

Memories stacked up in attic with old ornaments
that force you to remember months before
leaning like little silos, slumping into sloped-shouldered
reasons to regret that now

when jars are heavy with thick syrup winter treats
you can not get the lid off, can’t grip
to shake like fruity snow globe and have it renew
back to its former self

you have not waited too long to gather with them
go and ask if you can join them

they’ve asked.  Now it is for you to gather strength
to finally drop your bits and pieces of stray oats
or ask them to come back to you

where your arm chair vision  floods you
with such longing, and gut-deep knowing

why.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • astralshepherd gold member
    October 16, 2007

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    Thank you so much for entering this into the contest, I appreciate your efforts. This is, probably, the most well rounded poem here in this completion, lacking nothing, offering so much in image, impact and impression. A skilled writer, a gifted poet and the poem presented is a rare gem. Wonderful imagery and the impact lasts long after the poem has ended. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard




    1) Content 9
    2) Originality 9
    3) Flow 9
    4) Word choice (vocabulary and/or rhyme) 9
    5) Imagery 9
    6) Grammar 9
    7) Form 9
    8) Spelling 10
    9) Emotional Impact 9
    10) Rumination factor (how well does the poem make me ponder) 9



    astralshepherd’s completely subjective total score 91


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Now it is for you to gather strength
    to finally drop your bits and pieces of stray oats
    or ask them to come back to you

    where your arm chair vision floods you
    with such longing, and gut-deep knowing

    why."

    Sighhh...This one touched me deeply & you know why. Good luck in Richard's contest, my dear Friend. This is such a beautifully poignant penning, Sweetie. Wanda


  • michael thomas gold member
    October 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Carol you make the season a fifth with your poetry.
    I can never tire of it ever.


  • penman gold member
    October 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Oh my love the ending. The idea of arm chair visiosn really does hit so close to home. A great poem as usual. Best of luck in the contest.

    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      October 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      My parents were elderly when they adopted me.. I got a first hand view of how to live those senior years and what kinds of things seem most important. ty pen friend.

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