“Do you trust me?”
A serious question asked many a time,
By the people I chose to try and put
My faith into but just couldn’t rely on
The words they spoke to me.
“Do you love me?”
A question, I really don’t think I ever
Could answer truthfully, honestly.
An answer I would give, with
Slight sarcasm, but just to give them
Relief and convince myself that maybe
One day I may be able to,
But in the back of my mind I knew
I really couldn’t at all.
“Do you see us in the future?”
A quick yes and not much thought
Process to it, until they were out of
My presence, and realized “I lied”
I never saw myself with anyone
I never could see the future,
I wouldn’t let myself, and it
Freaked me out thinking of things
Like that making plans that would
Impact my life so greatly,
“I’m too young for this”
“Do you think we’re drifting apart from one another?”
A very upbeat, sympathetic no.
Straightforward, to the point,
And nothing more then an, “Okay, good.”
And me left with guilt, and shame,
That I put false hope into someone,
That I don’t even really care about,
Someone I don’t trust,
I don’t love,
And I don’t see a future with.
“What am I doing?”
Then came you.
You with your deep thoughts,
Your wisdom in life,
Your feeling of how nothing
Really mattered and you just
Didn’t give a damn.
Closed off,
Scared,
Not willing to give up your
True self for fear I could crush you,
If you let yourself be vulnerable to me.
Not that either of us were really interested,
We just found things to talk about,
And slowly seen things the same,
Learned a lot, and found we are
Opposites but at the same time,
Exactly alike in our own little ways.
“I trust you”
I said bluntly, truthfully,
I said it honestly.
I’m really putting my faith in to you
And letting you hold on to whatever
That faith may be, and molding it
To whatever you feel like,
Because it’s that safe comfortable feeling,
I’ve never really truly had before, ever.
“I love you,”
You said to me, and not a second thought
I knew, you meant it.
“I love you too,”
And it’s real as well.
I love you with every ounce of my
Heart and soul, cliché I know,
But the truth, something I’ve
Never really given anyone,
I hope you appreciate it more,
And don’t take it for granted like most do.
But I know you won’t,
There I go with that feeling of safety again,
I guess you could say you could
Destroy me and rip me to pieces
If that was your game, but I’m so safe with
You that I know you wouldn’t.
“I see us having a future,”
You say to me, and I pause for
A moment and glance into your eyes
That just reveal about anything to me,
And I see that future too now.
Not committing to marriage,
Or a family just yet,
But seeing us together,
With not a care in the world,
The same lighthearted,
Carefree feeling we have now.
I’m not pushing you away from me either,
Not becoming detached,
And then I’m left with the question,
“Will we ever drift apart,”
And you reply with a very relieving, sincere no.
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