I feel my heart is overfilled with silence
Silence that must be heard.
I am with my black coal gown again going to
Beat the trumpet.
There I found you, an Egyptian king in gold plated armor
Looking into your eyes I found a sea, a blue ocean
Where sea gulls are flying free.
There I am with all my beauty
Staring at you, with love in my eyes.
Each sigh of you I captured with dignity
And there, our love has been engraved
In those walls of pyramids.
These ancient feelings rushed through our veins
It’s your love, so lunatic, I am falling into you
All lies seem to me so true
All sentences so melodious!
Like a wheel of your fire breathing chariot
I am whirling and whirling
Come what may
I have signed my soul to thee
How wonderful this life is!
A contest entry
- anything goes by Lola Green.
370 points, ended January 11, 2008, 35 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silly Little Love Songs (again) by Wanted By You.
500 points, ended January 14, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Poems. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended February 12, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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nughty silvy, these lines captured me
All lies seem to me so true
All sentences so melodious!
you'r dada is so fond of you
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Thanks for being such honest..................Appreciated!!! I am not that one who wants to be acoording to everyone's likings!!!
Thanks! -
I didn't really like this, to be honest. My favourite part was probably the ending. I'd be a liar if I said I loved this, so I'm just being honest.
Over-all I could see the imagery in my mind.
Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Thanks for the comment.
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This peice definatly stands out in any contest. Thanks for entering mine!
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Thanks a lot.
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such a lovely piece. Thank you for entering.
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Thank you a lot......."bandhobi"
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"These ancient feelings rushed through our veins
It’s your love, so lunatic, I am falling into you
All lies seem to me so true
All sentences so melodious!"
Though I love the entire piece the second stanza appeals to me more and the lines quoted above are just too good to read siv.......really it is I think one of your best writes. I really loved it.
Good Luck in the contest
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thank you Hafsa.
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Ops, Tigris, I thought you meant to quote lines from any of my favorite poem... I have corrected it. Here it goes..
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thats quite all right. Problem solved. Nice Job by the way.
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Thank you venu dada.
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Dear silvy, You wrote wonderful things in this poem which really captures ancient feelings. Egypt always evokes such feelings as it is a land where ancient civilzation took root..A nice piece..All the good wishes in the contest
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Nice siv, as always. great work, well done.
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You need to quote your favorite line of the poem in your author's box, until you do I cannot accept this poem. Thank You.
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Thank you.
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Excellent
I think this is one of your excellent poems. I liked the way you took your readers to Egypt and seen a blue ocean in his eyes. It is better to use the word “Pharaoh” (the title of the ancient Egyptian rulers).
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