The air is crisp now.
Night closes in quickly.
and the leaves are
f
a
l
l
i
n
g.
{in the same way I fell for you}
s l o w l y at first.
and then:
faster by the minute.
the red fading like the color in my hair.
my green coat sticks out against the darkness.
not nearly as much as those beautiful eyes of yours.
I laugh thinking about this time last year.
We'd be laying in the back of your truck watching the stars.
Freezing. Smiling. Singing our favorite songs.
My cheeks turn pink when I remind myself...
of the time you kissed me
and realized how much I liked it.
you always got that stupid grin.
the one that held the key to my heart.
&&&
all you had to do was ask.
all I had to do was say yes.
but we both knew.
in the rules of friendship and love.
sometimes. you just c a n t.
this year.
I'm alone.
You are nowhere and everywhere.
Nothing. &&& Everything.
:::
I can't seem to see all the colors anymore.
:::
Author notes
option #1
I have no clue if this is anywhere near what you wanted...sorry babes...
[about my best friend Mike...]
A contest entry
- Halloween and then some...♥ by perfectsunset.
470 points, ended October 26, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - heartbreak by live in love.
500 points, ended November 8, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
oh golly, I don't care...
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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this was pretty and wistful and made me smile and wonder if there are really any good reasons to smile anymore. i liked the "falling" word/art quite a bit, the rest of it didn't really do it for me, but whatever. the words were great, and the words are the stars of the show anyways.
"the red fading like the color in my hair.
my green coat sticks out against the darkness."
was my favorite, you didn't go out of your way to describe the scene, but you gave a great image.
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i loveit
i like the experimenting format. and dont we all love that stupid grin? but it was nice to tie that in at the end. it could have been just another "love poem" but i still would have liked it.
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Wow.
One word.
Amazing.
"I can't seem to see all the colors anymore."
~Restless and True~
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Wow. This broke my heart as I read this. So much unbearable pain in your lines. I can relate to every single line but would never be able to express myself in the way that you have.
This piece was simply amazing. Beautiful, and yet so sad. I love your structure, your phrases and the metaphors. Oh. I remembered all the feelings of heartbreak as I read your lines, because your imagery was so real and the pain was so hauntingly sad.
Just simply beautiful, dear. Nothing I can say would ever heal the pain, but I just want to say that you are an amazing person & that you'll get through this heartbreak just fine
Take care,
Char
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Excellent!
This is a great write, I love the idea of being unable to see colour anymore. Great concept! Good luck in the contest! -
This is a really good poem! I love the line: I can't seem to see all the colors anymore.
Great job and keep up the good work! : -
YAY!!!
I'm really glad you liked it dear ♥ -
This was b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l babe!!! I loved it, from beginning to end. Finally, this was what i was looking for for that option. You brought so much feeling and emotion, mixed with amazing imagery and colours of fall. I honestly can't pick out my fav. lines cause I liked them all. This poem reminds me of the past, and what this month means to me. Lovely babes, & best of luck<3
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I......... was you. I read this poem, distracted by gunfire and stupid teenage video games, and I left the room I was in and went into your memory. My cheeks turned red when yours did, and my heart stopped when your memory faded at the end. It was amazing, love. Amazing. Best poem I have read in a long long time.
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I love you!
Thank you so much sweetie!
That is one of the nicest things anyone has said to me in a long time!
I'm glad you liked it ♥
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at this moment. this is your best work yet. wow.
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
you make me smile lovie
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This poem is amazing. I love how you created a scene with your words. The way your words fell. It brought alot of meaning to the reader and it drew me in to read more. I love this month. I love how it's cold out and everywhere; you can see different colors; colors that you never really see in any other season and this poem made me even love october more. Though with every poem, there could be some improvement. Ofcourse it's just [[my]] opinion, but the spacing twards the end leaves. . in space and then suddenly drops the reader back to earth again. Maybe you could decrease the spacing abit? But other than what i mentioned, I loved this poem. Great luck in the contest.
Ashley
aka: Walking in pain -
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thanks dearie
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wow...that was great...i have never been verry good at the difrent line for diffrent letters thing but you do it justice....wow...
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aww. thanks so much
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