My life and my strength,
I値l give all my body can bring
All I have is yours, everything.
For you I壇 go to any length.
I owe everything I have to you,
The happiness I get from kneeling
The peace in the love I知 feeling
Showing others love, too.
You are my strength when I知 weak
The voice of reason in my head
Listening as I crawl into bed,
The guidance I try to seek.
Never so far away I can稚 hear,
Waiting for me to need your light
Opening your arms to hold me tight,
I always know my God is near.
Author notes
... im not sure about the rhymes. i hate rhyming but i felt like challenging myself a bit.
leave any thoughts that come to your mind, comments make me happy.
Written October 7th, 2003
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Good
I like this one a lot. Seems more peaceful...more confident. Don't concentrating on rhymes as much as meter. Get the timing down and the flow happens. You seem to have the meter as well as content pretty well nailed. A true gift. Thankyou Allyson.
I sure hope your not on the West Coast, two thirty in the morning is way late to be up. (That's the dad in me :-) -
very good
Well done. Hardly even noticed the rhymes (that means they were good). Loved these lines:
You are my strength when I知 weak
The voice of reason in my head
Listening as I crawl into bed,
The guidance I try to seek.
Well done (and thanks for your comments on bag-lady)
John -
Beautiful words...such
a lovely prayer to out Lord.
Wonderful piece.
Sam
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this is so well written. i agree with gintsukinamida, it flows and rhymes quite nicely. i hope you keep writing, and sorry if i don't comment on ALL of them, i'm trying to keep up though. lol. it's been too long. anyway, don't forget about me! lonesome lil' me! lol j/k. this poem has a lot of.... feeling in it and i's likes its alots. **snickers** anyway... umm... i love it, again i agree with tomiko about the whole God part but at the same time it also sounds as though you're reffering to someone else as you God. because you refer to it as "my God" instead of just "God" anyway... i hope you never become uninspired. luvs to ya and best of luk!!!
~Poof~ -
Interesting how you put god, because it sounds at first like you are talking about someone else, and then at the end it switches into god. do you have a religion? You did well on the rhyming scheme. And if it's a challage for you, at least you can do it. All of my poems do not rhyme, because I'm not that talented. It was a good poem, it makes ya think.
~Gintsukinamida~
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