With a fragrance
that scandalized
the air
you were ebony petals
neath an angel's halo
with winged boughs
of wiccan leaves
poised like scorpion tails
and where at
your eternal tree
of damnation
I yet pay obeisance.
Author notes
Contest Theme: Oleander
A contest entry
- oleander by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended October 13, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Second Reading.
I've come back to have another taste. It is a superb poem. The name will always haunt me because I collected Oleander cuttings when I honeymooned with my wife, in Italy, seventeen years ago. I smuggled them through customs and they all rooted. Like your poetry takes root. Thanks again.
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Another winner!
I've had a sneaky suspicion that my opposite sex were attracted to Mr Wicca. Although these are not of necessity your own emotions you have crafted so brilliantly on the page I think you are probably right.
Thanks for sharing. -
This poem is significantly
better than many I have seen. At least I understand this one and appreciate it. It is pertinent and very relevant to the topic, I would have thought.
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Powerful
and with such daunting effect...beautiful piece girl...just loved these original lines too...
With a fragrance
that scandalized
the air
absolutely astonishing....im impressed...wait....not realy...I could expect nothing less amazing from you....
Mally
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Powerful...I love how you have visually related elements here and the rhythm is outstanding.
The title drew me in...to find this write not
what I expected. But beautiful and with a dark
and satisfying impact instead. Blue
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"With a fragrance
that scandalized
the air
you were ebony petals
in angel's halo
and winged boughs,
whose leaves slithered
like serpents in flight
to a charmer's flute-call,"
I love the way you wrote this! It is powerful!
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The title of your poem is what drew me in since today I am reading poems based on the Wiccan faith. I loved the comparison of leaves to serpents in flight. Wonderful assonance in the poem. Though this poem is short, it leaves the reader much to see, to think, to visualise...that is what makes this stand out. A very nice piece of work.
All the best,
Charishma
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Wow, this is really well done. Its short but so complete that it lingers, very nicely done.
Your imagery is truly amazing. -
Very powerful imagery! Stunning actually, this is an amazing write, I could feel this as if it were happening...scary in a strange sort of way...~blessings to you ~
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holy - your free verse rocks, I don't get to read much free verse from you, this is amazing.. intense
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what imagery in this! WOW.... beautifully chosen words... just blew me away.
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