A single rose,
bears a thousand
thorns or so they say.
And I have
found it
to be true.
but the only rose,
I can care about today.
Is the one that I,
found with you.
This rose had
a thousand
thorns c'est vrai.
And I went through them
all for you.
I'm lying
bleeding
at your feet.
I don't care,
because,
you lift me up.
And your lying
bleeding in my reach.
With a rose
of your own for me.
Author notes
this just kinda flowed out one day, and then a friend of mine, the guy who taught me to punctuate told me there was too much puctuation...lol, love you my brother thanx for making it better than it was.
A contest entry
- [GUYS ONLY] Impress Me by Sesheta.
630 points, ended March 30, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
hmmmm, it just kinda came out but i like it so...tell me what you think pls.
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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(Bandits United!)
A rose by ano other name is still a prickly creaure. Love, death, scent, color, life and romance all come from this fated flower. All poets love its use in universal symbolism. Welcome to the 'War of the Roses'.
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WoW! Lol I think I'm in love with this poem, as corny as that sounds.
Nice work!
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thanks...
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i love it its so creative
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Hoodwinked
An original write about an old poetic subject. Very unique approach. You can find a thousand poems about a rose, but the direction you took this is fresh and I really like your stlyle.
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Hood-Winked!
This is an amazing poem,
:A single rose,
bears a thosand
thorns or so they say.:
thats my favorite part in the poem.
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HOODWINK
This is an amazing piece thank you for sharing this with me it is beautiful have a lovely day
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Hood-Wink !!!!
Grandstand imagery love the flow of these words well written strong emotions are held have a great day and P.S. you've been Hood-Winked by the Poetic Bandits
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HoodWink! what a beautiful write. It's sad, and I really like the part about you going through every thorn for her. I'm wondering if you could re-word it and say that you've removed them ... or did I not get the meaning?
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You have been HOODWINKED by The Poetic Bandits. This is your day in the spotlight - enjoy. Wonderful metaphor in this poem - liked the brevity of the lines, the flow, alliteration and the message you share in these lines. Think you mean thousand thorns in second line.
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Hoodwinked!
Wow~~Love Your perception of the rose~
also these lines:
but the only rose,
I can care about today.
Is the one that I,
found with you.
A single rose,
bears a thosand...
Looks like a u might be missing in the
word thosand...thousand
Wonderful emotions You have brought forth!
You have also been Hoodwinked by The Poetic Bandits
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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HOODWINKED
again nice work
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It is a pretty poem. I really like it.
<3 Tia -
In the last stanza...you said "your lying"...the "your" should be "you're"...other than that I loved the piece...
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Some wonderful thoughts shared in these lines; sentiments expressed very well. Do agree with your friend; there is too much punctuation here. The first five verses really only need the period at the end. That way the flow is not interrupted so much.
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beautiful, it certainly holds a special attraction to it ! It reads well and has great imagery. I loved the end, great conclusion to the poem
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I like it.
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thanx...
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I think its gorgeous and when can I be your Vamp Mistress!!! ? ^-^
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wonderful write
but its sketchy it felt like some of the lines were incomplete and then continued on the next line the flow was disrupted by the commas there were too many of them kinda like driving down the road with too many stop signs
but the words
magnifico
the thoughts
increadible
the emotion
wonderful
just patch up that flow
and this is a masterpiece
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you would know all about too many stop signs huh? thanx ill try to fix it up...make it better. it just kinda flowed out so i can understand that its a little bit broke.
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it is good, not great, sorry, personal opinion, good thought though
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nothing tobe srry for, but y is that your opinion just for constructive reasons?
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wow i love it its great
and in metaphore it's talkin abt love that's sweet love ya
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thanx much it just kinda...poured out.
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but it's really well written
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thanx.
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no problem
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omg... i love this... you are an amzing writer... I am going to have to read more of your poems... this is an amazing write and i can really relate... don't ever change...
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thanx some of my stuff is better some is worse so ya...
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