First or last, black or white.
Slow or fast, dark or light.
There is no middle way.
I miss the color gray.
I must see all extremes.
I yell loud, silent screams.
I'm an individual,
trapped by my rituals.
I need constant checking.
It's almost nerve wrecking.
Hands, spic by endless cleaning.
My actions have no meaning.
[Chorus]
I don't feel any pain,
but do they mind our brains?
Our souls are hurt and chained.
I am going insane!
It has to be perfect,
each and every aspect.
A never ending quest,
for the worst, for the best.
There's no imperfection
at my own inspections.
Losing my memories,
forget all my stories.
One gigantic black-out.
That's my life, no doubt.
This cerebral demise
made me as cold as ice.
[Chorus 2x]
Author notes
Here are the disorders I have written about: Bipolar (seeing the extremes-part), OCD, OCPD, Dementia with a hint of MPD.
A contest entry
- Insanity, psychotic, imaginative, creative. by BigE.
300 points, ended January 10, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For all of the CRAZY poets out there... by AutumnsFlame.
973 points, ended March 15, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write Me Poems About Psychological Disorder by Romily.
300 points, ended January 20, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Music Lyrics! by ForeverFarAway.
360 points, ended March 12, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Bipolar is NOT that bad. look Bipolar only is bad when you don't take your meds. and if the people do(elfstone for ex.) you could never tell they had it!
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I like this alot, its got real truth to it, even thought my disorders differ from yours (except for slight ocd) I have post trumatic stress, borderline personality, depression, social anxiety and a few others, but I still relate to this! I miss the gray too! great job keep it up.
>>>>gaiascully<<<<
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Interesting
I got into it 'cause I don't usally see a song like that lol
Goodluck in my contest!
xxx
Eli -
great lyric.loved this part specially
"Hands, spic by endless cleaning.
My actions have no meaning."
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hmmm a song! I really like the lyrics here but there's one thing that kinda threw off the poem. When you put "[Chorus]" in there the reader reads that part and it seems like it's part of the poem. I know it isn't really supposed to be read... but if you put it there it throws the reader off. I would suggest eliminating the word "Chorus 2x" at the end and typing it out. That would make it more of a poem. Besides that, I really enjoyed this. Great description. You are definetly a talented writer! Thank you for entering my contest!
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This poem showed insanity in a fairly unique way and I give you props for that. However the lack of smoothness, and uneven flow, throws me off and distances me from the character.
Also the generic representations of multiple diagnosed behavior seemed a bit "hoppy" and it just seemed like the insanity jumped around, when in reality, insanity is a never ending cycle.
THank you for entering.
Depth: 7
Flow: 7
Literary Device: 9
Comprehention:8
Total: 7.75 -
I got most of the disorders before reading your list. Prett even nicely slanted rhyme, decent meter. Very much as I'd expect lyrics.
And great portrayal of the midset/thought pattern of the affected themselves.
=> Jess
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