The trees slowly,
Slowly,
Bare their all
Letting the only cover they've ever known
Fall to the floor
Forgotten
And the chilly wind whistles at the show
Author notes
I got the idea from this one from...actually, I don't know. But I liked it. Hope you do too!
A contest entry
- AP Book Contest: Get Published! (Last Chance!) by tinuelena.
1200 points, ended December 12, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Mr. Comment Box is cold from that darn whistling wind! If you could help make hima comment blanket, he'd love you forever...
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I really like this one. Thanks for the smile. The length of the poem is perfect. I love short sweet poems like this one. You give so much meaning within only a few lines.
However, I didn't really like the line, "Letting the only cover they've ever known". For some reason it makes me think that the trees (or the stripper) is uncomfortably letting go of the clothes. I think I would much rather prefer it to be something that is more positive in feeling like a fun teasing. That is just me though.
The ending of this is genius and is my favorite line out of the whole poem. You did an excellent job. -
Ha, funny and clever. A very nifty thought... well played
-
This was quite a humorous and original thought on fall. I have to admit I was chuckling at the end.
I stumbled a bit on the fourth line of the poem. I thought that it had too many syllables for the meter of the poem, and ended up disjointing it a little. I think if you reworked it into two lines, or compacted the same message into one, it would be a dandy. -
You gave insperation on a new poem. thanks hun. really cute and it reminds me of this season.....stupid idiotic weather.
-
lolol good times at the firepit is all i have to say....lol very nicely written though corinne, nice and short and cute!...keep up the writes!
-
-
You shut it, right now. No firepit. Shhh!!
-
-
haha, you told me about this poem this morning... so much innuendo. lol! love you.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
