Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Non-original Sin

Squalor and damnation
In eyes of livid light,
And as I peer into your depths
I am consumed.
The swagger is lost,
Spirited away by willing surrender
to cavernous entrenchments.

Your touch, like death
yields new life.
And your kiss
Is like religion’s heaven
(are there other heavens?)
To a heathen.
And as I lose and find myself
I wonder, “What’s your name again?”

Author notes

This was meant to be the commentary of a perpetual flirt. Very powerful word usage to flatter, but only if the dude could remember the name of the object of his affections.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Danna Hobart
    November 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Cute. Thanks for entering.


  • poorme
    October 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOw!This is really good!Thank yopu for entering..


  • Crook Oneil
    October 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lol - very well done. i appreciate the humor, and the subject matter!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    October 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i had to chuckle at the end of this. it would suck to not remember the persons name. i wish you well in this contest that you have entered and in all of your future writings. viyanna rosemarie


  • Ephiphany
    October 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very lovely, thanks for your entry...

    ephiphany


  • grass
    October 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Name in the author's notes?

    This really isn't bad at all. I like your word choices and the manner in which you go about writing it, but the content isn't what I'm looking for for the group.

    Regardless, thank you for your time and the entry.

    -Fishbone

1 - 6 of 6