I don't have a soul and very little compassion
And I don't give a damn if my words are in fashion
You're begging me to stay once again
This is getting old my Friend
I know you love me but that's on you
I won't let your feelings control what I do
You think you mean something deep down inside
And that my deepest feelings eternally hide
But, soon you'll find out
The hard way, no doubt
That beneath this fragile layer of skin
Is a Demon that claws from within
I tilt my head and exhale a low chuckle
My thighs dampen sweetly as I watch your legs buckle
Turning aside to leave pity here
I close my eyes against your tears
Shaking my head, I slip out of my dress
Watching your eyes grow large with distress
Enjoying your heartache I wait for the time
To unravel the moments of Destiny's rhyme
Crawl, you lowly snake and try not to take
More of this world than I know how to fake
Beg me to want you, to touch you, anew
And you might get lucky and I may just F*** you!
Author notes
After 3 and still can't sleep...took it out on you gentlemen I guess...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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why is it that noone listens to criticism anymore? i mean, affirmation's good, but improvement comes with willingness to accept opinions that rub us.
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muzicalquest
Sorry, hun, guess you misunderstood my comment! I realize criticism sparks "perfection"(if there is such a thing) but I don't elevate myself to the level of poet, just a dabbler in words!
So no amount of constructive criticism or even destructive will change the way I write cuz I cannot change you see? One cannot change one's self else we'd have no need for a Saviour! Does that make more sense??? Take care...WW
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This is such a wonderful write. It's got a lot of power and promise in it. I love it. You're a really great poet. You work your words so well and they have an amazing flow to them. Nicely done.
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SweetRoses
Aw, thanx hun!
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i found this awkward and clumsy to read. the chronology of this poem was fairly amorphous and i found myself having to reread several of the stanzas over and over and over again in order to piece together in my brain what MAY or MAY NOT be happening at that particular moment. i should note that i have little interest in whatever you may think about my intelligence.
at any rate, the couplets, while cliché, could be understandable at 3am....may be. i don't know, i've just never liked them. sounded like a nursery rhyme, only, the rhyme was strained and very awkward. there wasn't one rhythmic motif that was employed repetitiously and effectively enough within the poem long enough for the poem to have considerably good "rhythm and flow"
and any poem that asks me to picture "thighs dampening sweetly" makes me shudder in horror. -
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muzicalquest
Thank you for your "honesty" and I wish I could say that it will change the way I write but it won't!
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hehehe, this is quite the poem, i love the flow and unforced rhyming. the darkness and vehemence are laced with a sense of fun, which is odd but good. this is gorgeous, thank you.
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sslowbliss
You have a delicious way with words, hun! WW
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Great work word--warrior. i like all the stanzas in this piece.
Crawl, you lowly snake and try not to take
More of this world than I know how to fake
i like the choice of words for this line.
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NyteShade
I should have known you'd like it cuz you always seem to like my sweetness and light 3am pieces! Thx hun! WW
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