guilt soaked my bed sheets
& seeped through my mattress
but I just couldn’t swallow my pride
long enough to drop those rags
in the laundry
& I couldn’t imagine
replacing them with
innocence
when we both knew
that purity never
smelled as fresh
as our filth.
so you held me against your chest
& we slept together in your
cluttered apartment
on that flimsy futon
for six blissful weeks
until your roommate
asked if we were
“like, dating now?”
[I waited.]
why couldn’t your lips
work themselves around
“yes”
as easily as they managed
“I just can’t lose you.”
[& now, you’ve fucked yourself
on both counts.]
outside of those comforting walls of affection
your inability, or rather- your refusal
to call me what I was
[your friend, your
lover, “your world”]
meant I could never be more than an
enigma-
an awkwardly unexplainable
misfit
in your flawlessly reasonable
life.
& it really wasn’t that complicated.
[it never needed to be.]
now, the dryer beeps as I finish unpacking-
sifting through tangible heartache
& straining scattered bits of you
out of places they don’t belong
anymore.
I’m finally seeing you clearly-
stripped of your pretenses & pretty promises.
[& those sheets, like myself,
are doing just fine-
washed of you
entirely.]
Author notes
yep.
♥
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I know I already commented on this but it's exactly what I need to read right now.
your words always fit well in my heart.
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the ending is beautiful babe!
& the whole this is heart breakingly gorgeous.
I love the way you write
I really do.
You are so talented.
ilyy
xx
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Awesome.
Just one thing:
[your lover, your
friend, “your world”]
I think this may work better:
[your friend, your
lover, “your world”]
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oooh, I agree. they lead into each other much better that way! thanks babe! ♥
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Wow
I really love the ending, that line: "washed of you entirely". I just love the connotations that brings especially in contrast to the filth vs purity mentioned earlier in the poem. I loved the fourth stanza about cuddling in the apartment since it also shows the same sort of contrast at the end with the line: "until your roommate asked if we were 'like, dating now?'" I thought that was mucho clever. Anyway. I just loved it.
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um.
you write so beautiful my love!
stunning...amazing...wonderful...lovely...heartache...
I just love it.
perfect ending...
"I’m finally seeing you clearly-
stripped of your pretenses & pretty promises.
[& those sheets, like myself,
are doing just fine-
washed of you
entirely.]"
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The ending was incredible.
The whole thing was actually...
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