Drowning in your tribulations, suffering this isolation, how could life be so sweet?
A contest entry
- One Liners by Lj-.
300 points, ended October 23, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Not sure what I think of this, really.
Thank you for your entry,
Good luck.
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I think you should throw in some grammar to make the reading easier on the eyes, maybe:
"Drowning in your tribulations, suffering this isolation, how could life be so sweet?"
... or use a couple -'s, or ;'s, etcetera.
Otherwise, the rhyme lends the rhyme a certain ring,
=> Jess
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