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Forbidden Attraction

my heart skips a beat
everytime you're near
without turning away 

I know you are near

the smell of your cologne
lingers

long after we've parted

you're smile 

deeply imprinted
within my mind

haunts me
when I close my eyes

thoughts and feelings
race through me
forbidden

but damned if I know
how to stop them,

or alter the way

they make me feel

you're the forbidden fruit
that I learned about as a child 
in Sunday School

my heart knows 

you'll shatter me

into a thousand pieces

without so much as 

a second thought

yet my body yearns

for your touch,
for strong arms around me
and lips pressed against mine

we both know

with each stolen smile 

we are falling deeper

into forbidden terrain

not wanting to cause
broken ties 
with the ones that we love
yet there is no relief from
the strain of how we feel
when we're together

before we venture

into the darkness
to share unbridled passion

I ask myself. . .


is it really worth

the price we pay?

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    October 16, 2007

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    Interesting

    I really like this forbidden angle you brought into this poem and I also really like how well you penned this poem as well. what really impressed me the most was your indepth sightful poem and any ways the mysterious way you posted was cool. I really like the way you allowed yourself to floe freely and beautifully to create this master piece. any ways very nice work and loved it. keep up the good work. Signed, Paul


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    October 16, 2007

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    Great

    Forbidden love is one we are all smitten by. So much I can relate to I wish I could turn myself off at times. At least it means we are still alive and kicking. LOL


  • Tarja
    October 14, 2007

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    Ech.... Orlando Bloom! Yuck. Well this is another piece that I could just not personally connect to because it's a style that I really don't enjoy.


  • zt
    October 10, 2007

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    This was a nice poem. There are a few things that could be improved, but overall I found it quite appealing. S1L2 & L4 end with the same word--really the same 3 words: you're near/you are near, and you have at least 3 forbidden’s. You know how much I just LOVE repetition. Take a few moments with Monsieur Roget—you know, the writer of the thesaurus. You use a lot of pronouns in this as well. Can you trim some of them? In S3L1 you want "your". S4L3 "forbidden" or "unbidden"? Other than those things, it was pretty good. I liked the feelings in this and the way you laid them out. You are improving and it's fun to see you grow as a poet. I liked the ending as well. You end with a question to show you are thinking and to make the reader ponder the same thing. It draws the us into the scene.


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    October 10, 2007

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    My goodness, the thoughts that go through your mind. And, I think I remember that song too. Nicely done, ma'am. Who can this be that stirs such thoughts in your young head?

    Love ya,
    Daddy


  • Touchof1der silver member
    October 9, 2007

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    I am going to be dating myself here... but this reminds me of an old Barbara Mandrell song titled, "We're Married, But Not To Each Other"... or something like that. It's a pretty song and the message is kind of similar to what you have here. Nicely done!
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • Rusty Nail
    October 9, 2007

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    Even though the thoughts and ideas and emotions here are so universal that we can all relate to them, you have presented them in such a way as to breathe new life into them without that old baggage of cliché’s hanging on as well. Nicely done.
    Rusty

1 - 8 of 8