I give up

I've given up
everything that you once told,
I found out that it was all a lie.

I wanted nothing more than to stay with you forever,
now as I look back at everything I did.
I can only laugh at my own stupidity.

I tried to forgive every action that you once did.
Tried to look over mistake you once did,
being pulled into something I had no need to be in.

Wanting to just be happy once more,
but I guess thats just to much to ask for,
now days I sit around these houses trying to find myself.

In the depths of my mind I want to be the same little girl,
the little girl I once was.
Now days I'm to tired to even stand to be around other people.

Wanting to turn everything around,
and bring back the past.
Let the tears flow that I've held back,

Even tho I can't let them fall.
It kills me to be this strong,
wanting to take it back.

Bring back all those that once died,
the ones that were so close to me.
What I wouldn't give to be able to talk to my mother again.

I sat by her grave today,
cried for the first time.
Wanting her to be there beside me.

The tears that fell making me sick at my stomach.
The pain returning once more.
Because I new that I could never bring her back.

Tired of trying to be like her,
to tired to even get up now days.
Hating the fact that I have to wounder this world alone.

Hating the fact that I have to look down at the grave,
with her name engraved into the stone.
Wanting nothing more than to go back just for a few months and tell her I love her.

Take everything I once did back,
take everything I once said back.
Now days I'm just to tired to even speak.

I'm tired of the heart break that courses through my veins,
tired of the coldness I fell now days,
to tired to even get up in the morning.

Hating the fact that I have to contemplate on getting up in the morning,
Hating the fact that I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore.
To depressed to even care what I look like anymore.

Wanting nothing more than to just lay down and stay down.
My body wont let me but now days I just ignore it.
Wanting it to be over with.

To tired now days to even care,
To tired to even wake up in the morning,
To tired to even remember your name.