Reflections of myself
cast in the mirror. . .
It is misleading.
The mirror lies its shallow heart out,
filling all with self-indulgence.
Vain mirror, idol of self-adoration,
tell me the truth now:
Can you see the reflection
of my soul, the beauty of my spirit?
No, you cannot;
the shallow deceiver, heavily worshiped,
does not see all?
With such self-proclaimed knowledge,
surely knowing all,
tell me what you see, mirror.
Do you show true beauty?
Are you able to look into my spirit,
to see the real me?
No? It's a shame -
you cannot see one's true reflection -
you are blind with your own vanity.
Your images are distorted
with lies and self-absorption;
pointing out every flaw on the surface,
filling those who look into you with self-loathing.
Tell me, mirror,
do you know of your vanity?
Can you admit that you are a liar,
envious of those good-of-heart?
Alas, you cannot;
mirror, you are lying to me. . .
even as you are being shattered.
A contest entry
- questioning by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended October 18, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique?
Comments
-
Your first stanza, second line you have 'before me' - it is redundant with your first line which already says 'myself'.
To me this reads more like a sentence broken apart. I would prefer to see more imagery woven in the pieces, you are telling me exactly what is happening instead of letting me figure things out for myself.
Your sentiment is there but I do believe that this could use a bit of reworking. This is just my opinion.
I will be rereading the pieces at the contest close, so if changes are made they will be seen and remarked upon.
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