checklist for strenous living

Cower
at my power
porque
I've learned the killing curse
and I will go Harry Potter on your ass
I've got the elderwand
and my lightsaber
and I am not afraid to use them.
So do not stop
in front of the doorway
to chit chat with your friends.
Do not hold hands with your boyfriend
like you're playing a game of red rover
or you're Jack and Rose
in the last scene of titanic.
Because I am all out of patience
for your lovey dovey
relation-shits
Gimli loaned me his axe
to chop down any bathroom stall
proclaiming "Jorge is sexy!"
And if any of you
ever ask me
who I went with to homecoming
I will punch you in whatever genitalia you pocess
I'm gonna wander the halls
and put a bullet between the eyes
of every football player
who graduated twenty years ago.
And that gay cowboy
yeah he's going bye bye
because he won't let me wear
my fucking hood up
And you'd BETTER be sorry
for the interuption
bslashc (B/C)
if I ever hear that voice
in my class again
I will aim to kill.
Shoot first; ask questions later.
Do you feel lucky, intercom?
Do you?
Do not mess with me
the force is with me
and I have the power
Master Yoda says I'm a jedi now
I've got kryptonite
and super speed
and my spidy sense is tingling.
DO not even try to engage me in small talk
because
I find
Your lack of faith disturbing
And...
I'm...
Batman...