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[ Hello mum. ]

Hello mum.

I’m feeling a bit out of sorts today, I feel a bit ikcky and a little bit sicky and I’ve got a pain, I’m feeling quite hot so god knows what I’ve got, could be I’ve caught the flu yet again,
The pain that I have is getting stronger, its here in my body but low down, I walk to the chair I can’t stand any longer, its getting worse and its holding up my trip into town, ….. Better now as I take a deep breath, and I look around for my purse, there,
It’s fell of the dresser and on to the floor,

My shoes and my coat already in place, hurrying now as I quicken my pace, just ten minuets to catch my bus, oh not now as there's a knock on the door, calming my self so I don’t make a fuss, when opened there stood a woman all in green, with the most beautiful hair I had ever see,

A message for you I have from your daughter, she say’s sorry to leave you so soon
But well meet again and I’ll wait for you there, astounded I blinked then she was gone the woman in green and her beautiful hair,

Dazed and confused and in pain that I was, I knew I had no daughter no son or no man, I was single and free, happy the way I am, the pain increased shearing to the bone, and I struggled and staggered, desperate to find the phone.

Awake with a start and quickness of the heart, a room all white with a clean sort of smell, on a drip, and a bleep of the monitor as well, the room slowly shimmered and came into view, a hospital, oh what shall I do now, kind words soothing hands and a soft cool cloth on my brow,

A nurse so young, ridiculously so, resplendent in starched apron and hat, trying to take away some of my pain, the doctor will see you any time now, no, no talking the doctor will explain, the news is quite grave, and I want you to know, you miscarried and the baby I’m sorry we just couldn’t save, ….pregnant me, a baby, a mistake oh tell me your wrong, how could I not know that a child inside me had started to grow, tired and weary as sleep over came, thoughts of a baby that I’d never seen, drifting away on a comfortable cloud, my last clear thought was of the woman in green.
                                                  Fifty years later.
I’m old now and wrinkly, and my grand children are here, both are boys and so full of fun, for those little ones life has no fear, I tell then stories before they go home, of when I was a girl and the dinosaurs roamed, of dragons and monsters, and knights brave and bold, Oh yes bless them, they think I’m that old,

But later that night as I lay down to rest, I feel a pain a pain in my chest, here on my own as panic gives way to despair, there stands a woman, a woman in green with beautiful hair,  come along now your turn to be with me, and I have some one here you really should see, my feet don’t touch the carpeted floor as I walk, no float to a light shaped like a door, I turn and see my self laying in bed, and I finally realise I’m actually dead, her hand in mine as she bids me come, I hear a girls voice, just two words the first time in fifty years, two simple words,………. hello mum.       

Author notes

this i wrote because i dreamef it it was a portion of my life that happened when i was younger, the incident is old but the memory is not, if it is not the thing you want plese feel free to remove it, thank you x

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    March 26
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    Such a sad piece...
    Thank you for sharing and for being part of this contest


  • DemonicChanel420
    March 6
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    This is a very sad poem, but very good. I really enjoyed reading it.


  • Danna Hobart
    February 21
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering.


  • WednesdayJade
    February 8

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    The last stanza made me cry... it's a beautiful poem and a beautiful thought that your daughter waits for you. I hope it's true, I'd love to be with my babies.
    Really nice poem =]


  • FaeRae gold member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply

    So Sad

    The pain never really goes away, does it? For me, the guilt as well. What did I do wrong? Time heals a bit, but never completely. Beautifully sad.
    ***Rae***


  • in silver script
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is really good. The format wasn't quite what I was expecting, but it was good enough to make up for that. Great job and thanks for entering!


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow That sure was some Dream.
    I hope you are well and every thing is ok now.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
    ED.


  • Symphony
    September 25, 2008

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    i don't understand how this hasn't won any trophies yet ... i thought it was so moving! ... just .. wow, it was beautiful

  • Going Forever
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is a very long poem!!!
    Best wishes in the contest!!!!



    Magikal Fairy Poet


  • Candyknife gold member
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow that shits long


  • Mistress Masquerade
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry to say that this wasn't my taste, the emotion was good but not what I was looking for, again I apologize.. but I'm afraid I am removing it.. =/


  • BlackSwan
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness I don't know how to react to this poem. First I felt sad for the woman in pain, then the baby.

    Second I felt happy about the grandchildren and laughed at that line...
    "Oh yes bless them, they think I’m that old"

    Lastly in the end I wasn't sure if I was happy for her or sad that she had passed away

    Wonderfully written!
    -GL in contest

  • OurxBeginning
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hm, an interesting piece, I've never read anything like this before to be honest. The rhyming was creative as well. A little long but it held my attention. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Swan song gold member
    March 21, 2008
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    What stands out to me with this poem was the in line rhymes. I think they did well


  • Riftkin gold member
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is good and I liked it
    keep up the good work and I
    wish you the best in this
    great write here and best wishes to you


  • Carly Pop gold member
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much for your entry!


  • forever dreaming
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very intesting piece of writing from a different aspect than many of the others. Very good imagery and emotion conveyed throughout. Many thanks for entering my contest.


  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    October 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I don't know what to say. It's just really that beautiful.

1 - 18 of 18