Lowly drip that travels so far,
cornered by the cement boardwalk.
Only so much rain telling the puddle to go,
stopping the second the rain moves on.
It fills and overflows,
overcoming the small dips in the concrete.
But it only goes as far as the eye,
nothing close to the amazing it wants.
Rain comes and go,
but soon makes it drying up.
The surroundings bring on the torment,
crushing the only reality it has.
But when does it come along and grow,
making it stay like an amazing miracle?
Will the rain ever stay and keep it alive,
swelling the moment and sentence to live?
Rain only can fall for so long,
so it moves onto another puddle in the area.
It leaves this one all alone though,
heat and burdens making it shrink.
Only when it cries does it get nowhere,
the tears going to the same reason and returning.
There is only one thing this puddle can do,
and that is to dry up and accept it.
Well the reason for this sad tale is for more,
more than just saying that puddles are alive and well.
It tells people pain and movement and torment,
even a puddle can know what you are going through.
So here I am,
my soul this shallow puddle in the back of my mind.
She is the rain and the lovers of my life,
but they never stay long enough for my fall in love without hurting.
Author notes
This was kinda nice to write. I haven't written anything like this in a while, and it makes me happy that I can write about something more than hating someone...
A contest entry
- Guaranteed Comments! by Nam.
425 points, ended October 23, 2007, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [There's nothing worse than a burnt marshmellow] by Naridill.
500 points, ended October 23, 2007, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I think this would read better if it were left-aligned.
"The surrounds bring on the torment,"
"The surrounds" doesn't make sense, to me. Perhaps "The surroundings" or something similar to that.
"Well the reason for this sad tall is for more,"
"tall", did you mean "tale"?
"even a puddle can know what you are going threw." - "threw" would be "through".
I think the last couple of verses could be tightened up in structure, I think the entire poem could use a cadence, a syllable count, perhaps.
A nice poem that you have written here.
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this was a wonderful write and a beautiful take on the picture
powerfully created and done
well done and best of luck
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