Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Broken Dreams

     

Broken family, broken dreams
We had it all, or so it seemed

Our dreams slashed by pain
Leaving nothing more than blood stained memories
Days of “Remember When” is now all my heart sees

Watching a river form in my child’s eyes
He is slowly drowning because the boat of my belief has sunk and will not rise

Days are dark and nights are lonesome, silent walls caving in
Holding my chest in hope to restrain the pulsing that is slicing all hope within

Life ok one day and the next your searching for it's residue
Life was so perfect, or maybe the truth just never caught you

The dusted images of a life that once was are now just skid marks in
my imagery as I slowly turn onto the highway of new beginnings.


Layne Cirelli 2007

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Never Fall in Love
    December 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Days are dark and nights are lonesome, silent walls caving in
    Holding my chest in hope to restrain the pulsing that is slicing all hope within

    I have to say that this is good as far as content is concerned. A very touching topic that forces the reader to keep reading. Sometimes we have to realize that there are good times and bad times. The bad times just make the good ones all the more worthy and cherished - and that alone is the secret of life

    Never ♥


    • Layne
      December 24, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your kind words, it is true that the bad times make the good more worthy, when we have lived through so much pain we are so much more appreciative of the good times, thank you for reading
      -Layne


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Watching a river form in my child’s eyes
    He is slowly drowning because the boat of my belief has sunk and will not rise

    This poem is powerful, I especially resonate with these lines. I am a Mom also. It's painful to see the pain and brokenness in a child's face.

    • Layne
      November 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I appreciate your comments.


  • Mrs D
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    yet again....GREAT PIECE

    u have a real nack for poems soaked in emotions..u always have me entined in your thoughts...and they become real to me,and i expeience what you experience..."Days of “Remember When” is now all my heart sees"..love this line..it trully captures
    broken dreams and memories...

    "Holding my chest in hope to restrain the pulsing that is slicing all hope within"...i just love this expression....

    conitnue the good writes!!


    • Layne
      October 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comments, It really means a lot, I am touched that you enjoy my work


  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Another great piece

    although sad in it's subject matter, great in the way it's told! P.S. Your last name? rocks!


  • Josh0517
    October 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is so intuitive. I love how you explain your life and how tough it was. But now you are turned onto the highway of your new life, and are prepared to take any obstacle that comes your way.


    • Layne
      October 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      And many obstacles there will be, but like the road, where there are pot holes there are city workers to fill them, HAHA... and when I sink from pain, I will have Love to fill me up............


  • nessa1980
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Broken family??? yea but not broken dreams..... I still have dreams and will rebuild my family although I can't see my future yet.. I believe the best is yet to come... Thats for you!!!!! Nessa


    • Layne
      October 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Oh yes, broken, broken, broken, but still fixable!!! Like I said "I have turned onto the highway of New Beginnings", which is where you will also be headed!!!!!

1 - 13 of 13