I think back over the years and I remember how I felt:
Each time I saw you dressed in blue.
Each time you reenlisted.
Each award you won.
Each time I sent you off to work.
Each night spent alone while you worked long hours.
Each time you deployed, all those weeks and months you were gone.
I was always so proud:
Of YOU!
Of how you served your country.
Of the care you put in to all you did.
Of the love you had for your country.
Of the respect for our Flag.
Of the respect for our vets.
I was scared:
Whenever I didn't hear from you for days.
Whenever your flight didn't come home when it was suppose to.
Whenever you were there and I prayed for your protection.
Whenever they talked about those who had died that day.
Whenever you were gone, and I had to take care of the kids alone.
I prayed:
For you to be a good soldier.
For your protection.
For your strength.
For your mind to be protected from evil.
For your love to remain true, and mine for you.
For your return home to us.
When the Gulf war started:
I knew you might have to go.
I thought I was ready for it all.
I struggled with you being gone, not knowing if you'd come home.
I prayed for you both day and night.
I hugged the kids and told them it would be alright.
I cried myself to sleep most nights.
You came home but you weren't the same:
You began to withdraw.
You started to get sick.
You didn't sleep good anymore.
You began to struggle through each day.
You continued though your body was racked with pain.
You started to have headaches all the time.
I tried:
To take care of you.
To smile for you.
To anticipate your needs.
To not be sick or down.
To be there when you needed me.
To understand what was going on with you.
I'm sorry:
I didn't always understand.
I couldn't keep up.
I failed you.
I became angry.
I got sick too
I didn't see the one thing you needed me too.
I thank God:
For protecting you over the years.
For keeping you alive.
For allowing me to love you.
For being with you through all your pain.
For the places we got to see together.
For all the love He gave us both.
I just want you to know:
I still love you with all my heart.
I miss you more now than ever before.
I would continue to take care of you forever.
I still think you are wonderful.
I am still very proud of you.
I think about and pray for you each day.
Author notes
Being a soldier's wife was more scary than being a soldier. When I started to do this my thoughts were that I was robbed because my husband and come home sick from the war. But I trust God, and I know what allowing him to become so sick did for him spiritually, and how much closer he is to God now. How much more caring he is and how much more love he has for others.
A contest entry
- "I'm scared of a lot of things but I never knew fear until I married a soldier" Quote inspired quickie by Arrianna MacEwan.
450 points, ended October 11, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Some Religious Support by takemypainaway.
300 points, ended January 21, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Military Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended April 21, 101 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - military wives, gf. fiances, families..how do they feel? by camo.egg.army.gurl.
1350 points, ended June 21, 106 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This was so amazing
Thank you for sharing all these emotions with us. As the saying goes, we will never understand till we walk in your shoes. Thank you for sharing. You take care my friend.
Many Blessings for you
Sandy
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good luck in my contest..
im soo sorry that you had to go through all of that..
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Excellent Tribute and well deserving of all the awards--Very Well Done!!
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dakota! (hello)
this was simply beautiful. ~benji nichole~ -
Thank you for entering my military contest. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and all military spouses. it is a great sacrafice that you must also make.
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Congrats on your shiny trophy
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hey girl. wife of a veteran oh I know I am crying for you keep in touch with me.
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very nice write.
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this is so stunning and beautiful, I am crying buckets, I come from military family, so I relate to this very much, this is an amazing write, and I thank you for shating, congrats to you on your bronze ~blessings to you always~
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Thank you
just something from my heart.
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So true and so sad
Yes when our men go off to protect our freedom and our families they dive head first into a world unknown and sometimes when they return most people dont realize you cant just turn it off it tskes time to come back .We love them all and we do our best to help them find that journey back with love and being there for them as they were for us . Great poem here
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God Bless you both...
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Congrats on your new shiny trophy this was for sure a winner
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Wow
Your emotion is felt so deeply here. The stuggle you face is tangible. This is a beautiful poem. Beautifully written... Great job.
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Thank you
all the comments me so much to me. If you know someone who is or has been in the military be sure to tell them thank you.
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Your pain is so real but the thing that shines through your words the most to me is the love and pride you feel for your husband. My very best wishes to you in this contest.
Take care
Margaret
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with your comment I feel I did what I wanted to do. For my love for him is what carried me through all the fears I had of him at war.
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Thank You so much for your heartfelt entry. It is so powerfull and full of true and raw emotion. No one can ever understand the true pain and fear that military wives go thru. People sometimes romantiscize the idea of being left behind and waiting, but when one is placed in that possition, the fear and pain is so deep and raw. Thank you again for your entry.
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Thank you
yes this was from my heart. A military wife has to be flexible, self sufficient, loving and understanding. Ready to change your plans or go it alone when the phone rings and he has to go to work. He can't say I have plans so I can't come in. And we have to be able to deal with it and keep on smiling.
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amazing
the love and passion put into these words, are you still with each other, that's my only question? if it doesn't hurt to answer. This is a perfect poem for the contest, and sounds like it's something you needed to get out. well UNT.
. Rewarded 4
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Yes I think I did need to get it out. Unfortunately we are not at the moment. He is still the love of my life and I am still very proud of him.
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good
great poem you've got here, it really mixes together well the pride for the husband and the constant fear and wondering
. Rewarded 4
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thank you.
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This was so sad. It really makes you think of how a wife of a miltary man must feel. I don't know if I could do it.
. Rewarded 4
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I didn't really intend for this to be sad. I didn't feel sorry for myself when he was gone. Wives tend to band together and support each other.
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This poem, I can tell, is mostly meant for the eyes of your husband. But this I must say, being a soldier is perhaps the most visceral of experiences one can have. It is hyper real -- a reality beyond reality. Have you ever read the Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane? I don't particularly recommend that you read it as you are probably going through enough. But it encapsulates a little of what it is to be a soldier. When you are a soldier, you do not feel like a hero, you do not feel romance, you do not feel "elite". You are merely doing your duty. If that duty means violence, it is still your duty. Because, no matter what politics may provoke conflict, a soldier is still a soldier no matter what
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I know both sides of the story as I was also in the military for a while.
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Great
no one understands till they have read your amazing poem
ace -
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I hope it does help some to understand.
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This is very good. Coming from a military wife, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting it into a perspective that others can easily understand if they try. You have a talent, I hope things are going well for you.
. Rewarded 4
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I totally understand what you are going through with him about to deploy. Start now to teach your daughter to be proud of her Dad. Thanks for reading and commenting. Send me a message if you need to talk to someone.
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Wow! IS YOUR HUSBAND LUCKY TO HAVE YOU OR WHAT?!!! Man,
I wish i could meet a lady like you! The women here in New Haven, CT are frigid Yale bitches. They are given EVERYTHING so naturally they value NOTHING! Plus I'm almost 38 and if I stay here I'll just go mad. They're just too damn young, hateful, conceited and immature for me. It sounds to me like you and your wonderful hero/husband have found something wonderful and made to last. May God bless the both of you and keep you forever!!!! - ocerus
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks for your complement. I have plenty of flaws and there are good loving girls out there, don't rush it. But is there is no one where you are at then go somewhere else.
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This poem touched my soul your words hit me to the core. I can't say I understand because I don't but I do empathize. Keep writing your emotions can help you heal in many ways God Bless You
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thank you. I wish I would have found this out let years ago.
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This had me in tears, this is a great poem... I am proud of you my dear friend ... I told you that you have it in you to write beautiful poems
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Thank you so much
The military means so much to me. and my husband most of all. I hear any of the services songs, or the Star Spangled Banner and the tears well up in my eyes.
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