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I feel afraid...

I have said goodbye to a life that was,
~~~~~~~
I lost a lot back then.
~~~~~~~
A mum I loved and a dad that I never knew,
I even lost a friend or two.
~
I almost lost my mind most days,
the whole nine yards is such a haze.
~
Yet now I live in country new,
A new lady by my side thats true.
~
But I am afraid it will all go wrong,
that my life is not really this joyful song.
~
I am afraid that I will wake up,
and find myself on the floor by the clock.
~
That me getting better is just a dream,
and that man is here still being mean.
~
I pinch myself and try to laugh,
and try so hard not to do things by half.
~
But still it eats away inside,
that my whole life is all in my mind.
~
That there is no Jemma or Amsterdam,
that I didn't heal and it's all a sham....
~
I am afraid.............................!

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Comments


  • Glasyalabolas
    October 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very good rhyming couplets, they work very well at getting the emotion and across.

    Don't take this as putting a downer on things, but often that fear may never leave you. It is something that has certainly never left me and is only even stronger now considering recent events of this year. However, that fear gives strength now to carry on and make the best of what and who you love the most. Hold on tight, though never smother and never, ever stop telling, saying and showing how you feel.

    Good write.


    • PhoenixsFlight
      October 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou so much for your words of truth and encouragement. I appreciate this very much. I guess I know I will always feel the fear, but I have to not let it control me and that is really hard sometimes.
      Thankyou.
      P x


  • burdened
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful piece Phoenix, of course it si real , you just have to believe. Believeing is the key in most instances. True feelings you have conveyed, and I can relate to the dream part, sometimes I find myself wishing the worst, and then I have to put on a brave smile, and remember I have people who care about me.

    Luv for you, Nadine XxxX


    • PhoenixsFlight
      October 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou so much for your lovelly comment. I know I have to believe its all ok now. The horror of the past is gone, but I do get afraid alot. I know I have to have faith in who I am and what I am doing. I love my new life.
      Huggles
      Pho x